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According to “Research”, Beer Bellies And Muffin Tops Cause Brain Shrinkage

“Researchers” from a random school I have never heard of are claiming that men who have beer bellies and women with muffin tops have smaller brains. I call bullshit.

Researchers calculated obesity by measuring the body mass index and waist-to-hip ratio of 9,652 participants.

The findings show those with higher ratios of both measures had the lowest brain volume.

Professor Mark Hamer, of Loughborough University, said: “Existing research has linked brain shrinkage to memory decline and a higher risk of dementia. –DailyMirror

I’m not going to take this from science anymore. Who signed up for this study? Like some college kids working on their freshman 15 looking to partake in a paid research study about brain size? There’s no way these results are real.

What fucking asshole even designed this study? Someone out there really wanted to find a connection between weight and intelligence and that person is a fucking asshole. Who gives a fuck how big your brain is anyways. I’m pretty sure there’s some other more reliable science study that found we actually only use like 10% of our brain just let us eat our cheese in peace.

Not that I’m bitter or anything that people will see my muffin top and start thinking I’m some dumb bitch. The smartest women I know have muffin tops. The smart guys rejoiced when the dad bod came into style. People should love you for your brain! I overcompensated my whole life for this muffin top. I certainly wasn’t going to be the hottest, so instead I tried to be the smartest. Luckily I’m from Cranston so that wasn’t that hard.

Found the guy running this study, who basically says this research is bullshit.

Prof Hamer said: “This will need further research, but someday measuring BMI and waist-to-hip ratio may help ­determine brain health.”

Until then, leave my fucking muffin top alone.

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@aliweitz

@badgalstoolie

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