So last night I watched the season premiere of The Bachelor with hottie Colton Underwood. I debated on whether or not I was going to do a recap like pretty much every blog on the internet and I decided on “NOPE!!”…For many reasons. The main one being that I really don’t have the patience and because as I was watching it, I was texting the only other female blogger in Branded (@aliweitz) and we both agreed that we are going to be watching this season strictly for hilarious blog content.
As I was watching, and reading other fans tweets, I realized how incredibly repetitive this show is even more than past seasons. I thought to myself, “Why am I not drunk right now? Being drunk while watching this would make watching this so much more bearable and also more fun.”
LIGHTBULB! Bachelor Nation is huge! I am going to make a drinking game out of The Bachelor this season for everyone to participate in that watches this show.
We all say we’re a fan of the Bachelor, but most of us will admit part of why we watch it is because it’s like a car crash and we can’t look away. 90% of the women I talk to who watch this shit didn’t even want Colton as The Bachelor, but here we are…still watching. (Probably because ABC shows Colton showering all the time).
Grab your girlfriends, pop that cork, and get your livers ready because my goal is to get Bachelor Nation plastered every single Monday.
So without further ado, below are the rules for:
The Bachelor-Season 23 (Colton Underwood) Drinking Game
It’s quite simple. There will be certain categories where you either have to take 1, 2 or 3 sips of your drink, and one category where you have to chug straight from the bottle. I suggest each person playing to have their own bottle of wine.
Take 1 sip when:
-Any of the girls start crying
-Anytime the word “virgin” is said
-Someone mentions their dog
-Anytime the word “pageant” or “model” is said
-Whenever someone says “they’re so nervous”
-When a girl pretends to know anything about football
-Anytime Chris Harrison says the word “dramatic”
-Someone mentions Tia
Take 2 sips when:
-2 or more girls talks about competing in the same pageant
-There’s a kiss
-Chris Harrison has to mediate a situation
-Someone from a past season comes onto the show
-Every time someone says “she’s not here for the right reasons.”
-Someone is dumped or leaves outside of a rose ceremony
Take 3 sips when:
-ABC shows Colton showering
-One of the girls brings up having a dead ex BF (this was Ali’s rule-she’s savage and I love it)
-Someone threatens to walk out of the show
-Someone is caught lying
-There’s a hardcore make out sesh
CHEERS YOUR BACH-SHIT CRAZY FRIENDS & CHUG when:
-There is a severe mental breakdown by anyone on the show (cause thats always fucking hilarious)
-Colton loses his virginity (Yay boners!!!!!)
These rules could potentially be updated and added to as the show goes on, but for now I think we have a good start so bottoms up, BITCHES! Let’s watch the drama unfold while our wine bottles get low!