Everyone will probably remember this chick at the U.S. Open caught on camera dipping her chicken fingers in soda.
It further proves my theory that hot people can get away with murder. If this had been Honey Boo Boo’s mom dipping fried chicken in a Diet Coke, Twitter would have had a field day. We threatened jail time, but all this chick took from the coverage is that people think she’s hot. It was very apparent this woman was a stage 5 psycho clinger from the minute the clip went viral. Especially doing this in front of the youth of this country, setting a horrible example. Things that chicken fingers belong in are limited to strictly condiments. Honey mustard, ketchup, ranch, maple syrup on waffles, I’ve even tried Wendy’s fries dipped in a Frosty and didn’t hate it. But chicken fingers in soda is just, sacrilegious to true chicken finger connoisseurs like myself.
From the time my teeth grew in I’ve been ordering chicken fingers and fries off every menu. 6 year old me ordered chicken fingers off the kids menu at every Mexican/Italian/fast food restaurant, and 30 year old me will fuck up a chicken finger platter at your local Chinese food establishment. I know there are millions of chicken finger fanatics that agree. What this girl is doing to the integrity of the chicken finger game is disgraceful.
However you want to get your 15 minutes of fame and a few extra bucks is none of my business. The catch me outside girl just spent $40k getting new teeth, so I will not take away from the true hustle involved in making this music video. But it’s disgusting.
An INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO nonetheless, the song is set to the beat of the Chicken Dance song. The lyrics don’t rhyme, her flow SUCKS and even autotune couldn’t rescue this bitch. Even Rebecca Black was somewhere in her mansion covering her ears like the Bird Box challenge for the deaf.
First things first she weighs like 103 pounds, so there’s no way she’s that serious about dipping chicken fingers in soda. This isn’t a thing she does on the reg, this was probably the only thing available in the kids section at the U.S. Open. Why the fuck was she sitting at the table with 3 middle school boys anyways? Mom and Dad wanted to have a little fun at the tournament so they asked the hot babysitter to come and eat chicken fingers with the kids? I wouldn’t be surprised if she was fucking the dad of these kids and he’s the sucker paying for this music video. “Get me a professional camera crew and Mike Will Made It to remix the beat of the chicken song or I’ll tell your wife.” Brilliant.
“Most people told me I should go to prison, but at least Barstool said that psycho is smokin” she said wearing a bikini top pushing her boobs to her chin, a puffy vest and yellow hoop earrings atop a Pokemon decorated Volkswagen beetle. Barstool has been the center of a lot of controversial content, but this chicken finger bitch is the worst monster they created. Nothing worse than a hot girl who thinks she’s funny by telling people she can eat whatever she wants and not get fat. Fuck you chicken finger soda bitch. I will not “dip the chicken with the right, dip the soda with the left, and then you dip, drip drip drip drip” in English or in Spanish. It doesn’t make any sense in any language.
What a waste of some good looking chicken fingers all in the name of some gimmicky viral music video. There’s not chance this bitch ate a single bite of chicken used in this video because you don’t just get that skinny dipping fried poultry in liters of cola, diet or not. She must have a golden vagina if she’s got someone cleaning (or paying to clean) fried chicken soaked in soda out of this bathtub.
I didn’t want to even have to go there but I was pushed to the limit. Her winged eyeliner sucks. Totally uneven and doesn’t line up with the $5 Walgreens lashes.