A Letter To The Chicago Contingent Of Branded Sports From The Philly Contingent of Branded Sports

Dear Chicago Guys,

Well Chicago boys, it’s come down to this.  We needed your help to get here and we’re thankful for it but now things are different.  Now things have changed.  There’s no more Bears fans and Eagles fans agreeing on Vikings fans being pathetic.  That’s all over, it’s done.  Now it is us against “youze”  We didn’t come to play games, we didn’t come to have fun we came to kick names and take ass!  You think you scare us?  You think Khalil Mack makes me nervous?  Buddy, Mack is gonna get a long helping of Lane Johnson down his throat.  You think Hicks makes my lip quiver? Pal Jason Kelce is going to put him into the ground time and time again he won’t even know what football is anymore, I’m talking CTE folks.

Now the facts are true, we have you out numbered at Branded.  There’s a lot more of us then there are of you.  You are outnumbered, out manned and out classed.  I’ve never walked into a fight I didn’t think I could win and I’ve never not thought I could win.  This Sunday nothing changes.  We’re going to smack you around for four quarters.  Nick 9 inch is going to put it so far up your ass you’ll think it’s an episode of sons of anarchy.  Now let me make something very clear for you Chicago sausage eatin jabronis.  You’re a stepping stone to greatness buds!  You’re another step to immortality!  This repeat aint gonna be stopped and no jabroni named Mitchell is stopping it.  Sunday night is going to be a special night and I’ll tell you why.

Great moments are born from great opportunity.  That’s what the Eagles have Sunday night.  That’s what you helped them earn Sunday night!  It’s one game, if you played us 10 times you might win 1.  But not Sunday, Sunday wont be that one.  Sunday, we are gonna throw on ya, we are gonna run on ya and we are gonna shut you down, because we can!  Sunday we are the greatest football team in the world, which is still a fact because we are still champs.  The Eagles were born to win titles.  The current ones, not the previous ones.  They were meant to be in Chicago on Sunday night, this is our time! … Still, it’s still our time, as was our time a year ago.  Your time?  It never started, maybe in a few years, maybe like 6 or 7, but not this year.  I’m sick and tired of hearing about what a great defense you Bears have, screw em!  This is our time, still as I stated before.  On Sunday we’re gonna go out there and take it!  It’s ski-mask season bitch!

I just made that up on the spot, you dont want any smoke with a team or a fan base that can come up with poetry like that.  Get ready to have your hearts stomped on, get ready to be sad and depressed.  You can breathe, you can blink, you can cry, hell you’re all gonna be doing that anyway.  Just be ready for it.

Repeat SZN!!!


0 0 votes
Article Rating

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

1 Comment
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

[…] bringing on the Eagles in a post earlier this week, Ru and CEO Joe have been at it. Ru wrote a letter where he clearly plagiarized from Kurt Russell’s character of Herb Brooks in the movie […]