The clock struck midnight to ring in 2019, and all of our resolutions to stay away from our exes and all fuckboys immediately went straight down the drain.
A mere hours prior, my fellow bloggers voted my blog threatening to unprofessionally circumcise Danny Amendola for very publicly cheating on Olivia Culpo, the most perfect human being on the planet, the #1 blog of the year. In 2018 I took on fuckboys head on (wink wink) and I really thought I had finally come out victorious. But it appears I was very wrong, as usual.
I’ve got to be honest, when I saw Olivia stuntin’ on the haters in this Fendi bikini on a Miami yacht a few days ago I was concerned. Red flags everywhere. But just because your lying, cheating ass ex bf lives in Miami doesn’t mean you should avoid the city forever, right? Considering Olivia is one of the universe’s premier swimsuit supermodels, she’s bound to have to visit Miami at some point. Maybe Olivia was just purposely trying to destroy Danny “Just Missed The Playoffs” Amendola the old school way; by barging into his city looking just as flawless in 2019 as she was in 2018. These are the things I told myself when the sirens in my head went off, knowing deep down what was going on here.
I’ve been putting together the puzzle pieces for a while now. Last week, when Olivia and I were both home in Rhode Island for the holidays, she decided to do an Instagram Q&A which included a very interesting submission she decided to answer.
I’m not sure how many fuckboys are up in Olivia’s Instagram story looking for relationship advice, but I can certainly think of one white NFL wide receiver who would want to prove to his recent ex that what happened was a mistake even though she doesn’t want to see him and I’m not talking about Cole Beasley.
I was proud of my Cranston gal. Posting that to her story was petty and she seemed so unbothered. Her sister even called him out by asking if he cheated because that’s mean (preach).
But just one week later, while we were all avoiding the individual monthly updates of everyone’s year in review on Instagram stories, Olivia and Danny quietly lit a match and started a huge fire in hearts across America.
Although I would have gone to the edges of the earth to investigate this one, there’s not much denying the fact that these two were spending New Years Eve together, watching the last sunset of 2018 in the dunes of Miami beach, coincidentally the scene of the crime that broke them for the second time. The grass is falling at the same angle, the sun is at the exact same point of the horizon, and a quick analysis of the cloud formations confirms a truth I’m not ready to accept: Danny Amendola and Olivia Culpo are back together (again).
I want to respect their privacy and I want to be happy that these two maybe are meant to be together forever, but I’m disappointed.
I’m far too emotionally invested in this story to be left in the dark like this. If Olivia and Danny have decided to move on and put the fuckboy behavior in the past, we need a little bit more information. Would a public apology press conference or full page ad be too much trouble for Danny? I mean, he’s got a lot of free time on his hands now that he’s shed that pesky playoff workload. If he was able to convince Olivia to go from refusing to see him to spending NYE together in one week, we need to hear the pathetic begging, see the evidence for ourselves. Until then I am skeptical. I don’t know if I can get on this emotional rollercoaster again. In 2019 I am still #TeamOlivia. I will have the scissors ready if you need us, girl.