Cue the music…
Annnnnnnnd now… The Starting lineup for your Merry Freakin Christmas Basketball Team!
At Power Forward.. From Chicago, Illinois 6’2… Clark Griswold!!
A 6’6 Small Forward.. From Halloween Town… Jack Skellington.
The man in the middle from The North Pole, 7’1…. Buddy the Elf!
A 6’3 Guard from Lakeside, Illinois… S.C. Scott Calvin!
From Chicago, Illinois… At Guard, 4’5 Kevin McCallister.
Coming off the bench… Your sixth man of the year. From Whoville… Theeeee GRINCH!
The Head Coach of the Merry Freakin Christmas Basketball Team is The Old Man Parker!
You take MJ off the Toon Squad, and the Merry Freakin Christmas Squad would give them a run for their Christmas cookies!
Yes that’s right, I have constructed a basketball team of the best Christmas movie characters. Deal with it.
It all starts at the top of the key. You need a shifty, quick thinking and aggressive point guard. Who better than KEVIN!!
Clark Griswold may not be the smartest player on the floor but you know for damn sure he’s bringing 110%. He’s the gift that keeps on giving.
He’s tall. He’s got good hands. He’s one hell of a leader of goons. He is none other than Jack skellington. No one will stop his passion to get to Christmastown… AKA the rim!
The guy is magical. I mean Scott Calvin made Santa fall off the roof and became Santa. He may have put on some weight these days but that means no one is penetrating his zone. And he can always use the Rose Suchak Ladder Company for that slamma jamma!!
Is there anyone else you would want in the middle than Buddy the Elf?? If so, be gone. He’s big, (changes the smoke detector batteries) he’s nimble and is full of cheer. He will sing the damn fight song loud so all can hear!
Throw it down big man!
Coming off the bench you always want grit. Those guys that will play the tough minutes. Get dirty and still score some points. I mean the Grinch is the real Draymond Green, ain’t no one else I’d want for that role on this squad.
Ralphie’s dad is the perfect coach. He will yell, he will curse, he will get this team to the god damn promise land… Damnit!
And hey at least he won’t let any of his players be… FRA-GILE…
Get ready Toon Squad… The Merry Freakin Christmas Basketball Team is ready to hit the hardwood.
-Kmess “That Guy”