Maybe the reason Tom Brady and Josh Gordon get along so well is that they both attract some of the most jaw droppingly attractive women on the planet. Well, that was until yesterday Josh Gordon’s alleged girlfriend, Dylan Gonzalez, posted a cryptic Instagram story claiming he cheated on her and that she’s now single.
I’m usually all about the #SingleChronicles, but if this girl has anything to do with why Josh Gordon has turned his life and his career around with my New England Patriots, I am going to need him to start pulling some Offset type proclamations of apology.
I am continually baffled by the level of hotness that guys will still cheat on. I always thought there was some bracket of women who were just untouchable. Olivia Culpo, Elizabeth Hurley, Jennifer Aniston, Princess Diana, Beyonce. Hot, smart, successful, talented women. Apologies if I’m late to the party but it appears as if Dylan Gonzalez is one of those women.
First things first girls with boy names are always the hot ones. There was always a hot tomboy Jessica Biel type girl named Ryan who played softball and looked good in overalls. So here’s Dylan, a former D1 college basketball player who put her WNBA career on pause to pursue music with her twin sister Dakota. I didn’t think girls like this were created in Idaho…
The Gonzalez twins are definitely official bad bitches. They’ll back that ass up all the way into the paint and hit a fadeaway jumper in your face. It’s understandable that it would take a confident guy to go out with a girl like that. They’ve been linked to Ben Simmons, Anthony Davis, Klay Thompson, and Aaron Gordon. They even got Drake going to Pepperdine vs UNLV women’s basketball games on a Friday night from the bleacher.
— UNLV Lady Rebels (@UNLVLadyRebels) December 9, 2016
But it looked like as of this summer, Dylan switched from basketball to football and started dating Josh Gordon. I went back to as far as May on her Instagram and he was liking all her pics. He used the L word in a comment on one of her posts, he even brought her to a Red Sox playoff game at Fenway.
As of 2 days ago Dylan was on Instagram posting videos coincidentally wearing this necklace of a lighting bolt, a symbol that might happen to relate to Josh “Flash” Gordon.
During this time period, Josh Gordon leads the league in average yards per catch since week 4 when he joined the Patriots.
He’s made catches like these:
and this, the highlight of the entire Patriots season so far:
People of Massachusetts have adopted Josh Gordon as one of our own, just like we did recreational marijuana. You’re one of us now Josh, we’ve got you.
But you can’t be out here cheating on girls like Dylan Gonzalez. You need to be putting her in the suite at games and taking her to Top of the Hub if you want any chance of getting the invite for dinner at Tom and Gisele’s. I learned my lesson with Danny Amendola, and think he’s learned down in Miami. Can’t exactly have the nickname Danny Playoffs sitting on your couch in January.
I’m really hoping Josh’s lack of production on Sunday’s loss to the Steelers had nothing to do with his 🍆 , but if Tom Brady decided he didn’t want to throw in the direction of a cheater, I’m not going to criticize him.