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Prosecutors Grant Clemency To Instagram Thot Who Broke Her Boyfriend’s Nose When He Tried To Break Up With Her

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Daily Mail – Prosecutors have dropped assault charges against a student model who was accused of attacking her boyfriend because he wanted to break up with her.

Just another day in the life of an Instagram model. Seriously, when you’re hot and you know it you can get away with anything. If I tried to fight a guy to stop him from breaking up with me, they’d call me a modern day Kathy Bates in Misery.

Months ago somewhere in Connecticut, college student Kathryn Mahoney’s boyfriend tried the unthinkable; to break up with her. So in turn she decided to break his nose.

Look we’ve all been there. Someone has decided they’ve had enough of your bullshit, but you aren’t done ruining their life yet! You start by trying to negotiate the breakup. You’re making a big mistake, are you sure you want to do this? Then you start dramatically crying trying to see if you can make him feel like a real monster for what he’s doing and force him to keep dating you. And if all else fails, alpha female the fuck out of him and give him a solid uppercut to the face. It’s fight or flight at that moment, and that’s when we separate the women from the girls.

This kid is a swimmer and a rugby player so someone was bound to punch him in the face eventually. The boyfriend, Ben Kebbell, apparently couldn’t restrain this girl:

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from straight up destroying his face so he “had to run to a friend’s dorm room to get help.” Kebbell decided to drop all charges and laugh the broken nose off in an effort to keep as much of his manhood as possible.

This girl comes out on top of every angle of this story. Her attorney is already ahead of the narrative and makes sure to let everyone know her future as a Teami Blends model is still in tact.

“Now that all charges have been dismissed, she will continue her collegiate studies which have placed her in the top of her class. Her future is extremely bright!”

She definitely won the fight and she absolutely won the breakup. Dodged a bullet getting dumped by this Chainsmokers wannabe.

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Put the picture of this dude with a broken nose in your Tinder profile and she’s going to be dating the hottest kid on campus in no time.  Guys fucking love crazy. And also huge boobs.

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Her mugshot isn’t all that bad either, it’s probably even funny enough to post on Instagram to get a million likes. Whoops I punched a fuckboy. I wouldn’t be surprised if this entire story was actually a viral stunt either.

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@aliweitz

@badgalstoolie

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