Vitamin Water is Offering $100,000 to Whoever Can Go a Year Without Their Phone


Vitamin Water has come from the shadows of the sport drink underworld to present quite possibly the most preposterous contest we’ve seen in some time.

Vitamin Water was once the new kid on campus when it came to sport drinks. That crown would likely belong to Body Armor now, depending on who you ask. It seems jealously of now being the middle child of sports drinks have taken over and now Vitamin Water is using social media to try and send it back to the old days before the new baby arrived.

If you’re a person looking to have all your friends and family hate you for a year then, by all means, sign up for this preposterous contest. But I want you to know everyone hates you. You’re the absolute worst if you’re willing to give up your phone for anything short of a cool mil. All communication to the world is lost. What are you going to do? Go out and make friends? Wrong. You may go out and try to live like people did a decade to go, but you’ll learn that it’s not that simple. Every person will be buried in their phone and you’ll be the dick bothering them…for an entire year. You’ll be an inconvenience to all.

You’ll screw up every group message you’re in. Every time you call someone you’ll lose the respect of your friends and family with each annoying ring because you couldn’t text them due to a ridiculous contest.

Sure, on the surface getting away from your phone and collecting $100,000 sounds nice, but after Uncle Sam takes out half of that and you get fired from your job for missing important emails and texts because you had to be “That Guy” you’ll be in the red.

All that can come from a contest like this is disappointment.

Follow @BrandedNickDubs on Twitter

Feature Image via SDEntertainer

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