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Throwback Thursday: Dollz…The OG Bad Bitches Of The 90s

Even though getting old feels like being Gronk back deep trying to make an open field tackle to win a game, I thank god every single day that I was born before 1990. Every 90’s kid knows that growing up in the 90s was the best time to be alive and we’re not afraid to shove it down everyone’s fucking throats.

We had just enough technology to feel cool but not enough to be really dangerous. The worst trouble I got in as a middle schooler on my cell phone was level 50 of Snake. And for 90s girls, before there was photoshop and FaceTune, there were Dollz.

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Image: innevation.com

Kids these days think Instagram models showing their ass at the gas station is hot?

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Try looking at these pixelated pierced belly buttons and not feel some type of way in the 90s.

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Even though you and your friends mostly looked like this:

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Image: My Old Myspace Page, Likely A Profile Pic

It was fun to imagine that all your besties formed a super group of Dollz wearing bandana tops and low rise jeans with chunky blonde highlights with your boyfriend and his JNCO’s and puka shell necklace. Talk about #CoupleGoals

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Image: Source

In my middle school days, your school planner reflected your whole personal brand. While mine was typically covered with magazine cutouts of Kobe dunking or Olympic gymnast Blaine Wilson on the rings, I also needed to prove to other people I did actually have friends. I scoured the dark depths of AOL.com for every Dollz doll that fit each of my friends exact personality and style. For some reason there was always the basic one that wore only layered Abercrombie polos, the kinda slutty one that believed the more bedazzled the jeans the hotter the girl, and the one that always thought she looked good in hats. Being a Dollz doll was the original bad bitch.

This would have been my typical selection, something classy yet a little edgy with the extra wide bell bottom. Hair blowing in the wind, and bangs every 90s girl thought she could easily achieve.

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I plastered these little skanks all over the cover of my school planner with my friends names underneath. If you made the cover of the planner, you were a part of the inner circle. They had to make all of the Dollz look hot so none of your friends got offended when you made them have overly thin eyebrows and pink elastics on their braces, you know…how they actually looked.

The boys must have seen these Dollz in an AIM profile and thought wow, that’s a girl that buys roll on body glitter at Bath and Body Works and listens to Kaskade.

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@aliweitz

@badgalstoolie

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