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The Rock Could Probably Eat Me

In order to become the “sexist man alive” and look like this

You gotta eat a shit ton of food and put hours of work in the weight room. The Rock eats an ungodly amount of food. Pretty sure if you butcher a whole cow or empty the Pacific Ocean, he’ll have no issues taking them down.

If there’s three things the Rock loves (besides his family) it’s working out, Netflix and cheat meals. He has no shame in sharing his meals on Instagram and it makes me jealous. It’s pretty ridiculous he’s able to consume all these meals and looks the way he does. If I ate this much, I’d look like the Pillsbury Doughboy, which would make sense with my Irish pale skin.

Also I’m jealous of his suits on Ballers, they’re on point!

Lets look at The Rock’s meals and get hungry in the process.




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The #CheatMealCookieTrain 🍪🚂 rolls on with my DJ signature milk chocolate chip, salted caramel chip jumbo cookies with a shit load of peanut butter and guilt in the middle. Enjoyin’ my cookie gluttony watching a @netflix special I HIGHLY RECOMMEND if you like love your comedy raw, like I do – “Bumping Mics” with two of my fav comedians @therealjeffreyross & @daveattell. I did a show with Jeffery a few years ago for our military at Pearl Harbor, called #RockTheTroops. This sumbitch called me Harambe and 50,000 troops roared with laughter and I thought I re-tore my surgically repaired hernias cause I was laughing so fucking hard. Jeffery and Dave have GREAT CHEMISTRY together… reminds me of me and my incestuous biscuit shit of a son @kevinhart4real. #CheatMealCookieTrain #BumpingMics 🎤 #GluttonyMeetsComedy

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The Sunday cheat meal, “I have zero fucks left to give” #CookieAndBrownieTrain 🍪🚂 😈 rolls on. My signature double milk chocolate and peanut butter chip with real peanut butter smeared in the middle, BUT this time with a twist – salted caramel chips. 🎤 drop. Colliding with one of the best doc series I’ve seen in a very long time, HIP HOP EVOLUTION. Highly recommend, if you’re like me, a hard core fan of hip hop culture and history, or a struggling hip hop artist or if you’re already a global hip hop superstar. A must watch. From that Miami bass bringin me back to my days at THE U (Uncle Luke/Uncle Al) to the hard core Texas boys (J Prince/Geto Boys/UGK) to that iconic LA Gangsta sound (Dre/NWA/OG Ice T) to that one and only G-Funk (Too Short / E-40) sound of the Bay (also where Tupac credits finding “his voice”) all the way back to the history of Afrika Bambaataa forming Zulu Nation to of course the undisputed originator of hip hop, New York City (Herc, Flash, KRS 1, Tribe, Wu etc). This doc is ridiculous. What’s also ridiculous is me devouring these gigantic MF’n cookies and bringing gluttony to a new level. Enjoy your cheat meals my friends. You ain’t cheating if you ain’t eating ✊🏾

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My (after sushi) cheat meal Cookie Train 🍪 🚂 rolls on. As I do every cookie cheat meal, I break out the Netflix, find the right viewing pleasure and begin to destroy. This week my DJ Signature double chocolate and peanut butter chip cookies with real peanut butter layered in the middle collides with @joerogan’s new comedy special #StrangeTimes. Highly recommend and mahalo for the shout out brother 🤙🏾 And just to contextualize this image for you — I have the biggest laptop MAC that’s available on the market. That gives you an idea of how fucking gigantic these cookies are 😂😈 Enjoy your cheat meals my friends – you’ve earned them. You ain’t cheatin’ if you ain’t eatin’. #CheatMealCookieTrain #TakingSinToANewLevel

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