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Gisele Needs To Back Off And Stop Telling Tom Brady To Retire

Gisele has a new book out that chronicles the struggles of growing up a naturally gorgeous Brazilian woman with a perfect body married to the best quarterback of all time so she was on Ellen to promote it.

Ellen asks Gisele if she wants Tom to retire, and Gisele basically admits she’s been trying to convince him for years to no avail. Gisele’s never really tried to deny that she wants her husband to quit football so he can enjoy a long life of health and prosperity with his beautiful family. It might sound like a reasonable request, but Tom belongs to us Gisele.

Tom fucking Brady belongs to the New England Patriots, and to the game of football. As much of you try to deny is, none of us are truly ready for life without him.

So we’re going to need you to stay out of this, Yoko Ono.

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