25 Reasons to Root Against The Packers This Sunday

Kurbs

As we get ready for the Bears vs Packers on Sunday, I’m providing non-Bears fans a list of reasons of why they shouldn’t root for the Packers. Bears fans, you’ll just like this list in general.

As I wrote this…I realized that this list also sort-of doubles as a list of critiques against Wisconsin and the people of Wisconsin. And I’m not sorry for it.

Here you go:

  1. Aaron Rodgers is evil
  2. If your team is also in the playoff hunt, you definitely don’t want the Packers to win because Aaron Rodgers may ruin all your hopes and dreams because…he is evil
  3. Their fans wear cheese on their heads
  4. Their fans wear cheese on their heads – let it sink in
  5. The team being “owned by the fans” is a load of crap – that’s worse than being duped by a Nigerian prince email in 2018
  6. That Bose commercial with Aaron Rodgers is annoying
  7. And so are the State Farm commercials with Aaron Rodgers
  8. Their players aren’t entertaining enough to come up with their own celebrations, so they rely on the boring “Lambeau Leap”
  9. The “Discount Double Check” doesn’t count either
  10. Aaron Rodgers skips around like an idiot whenever the Packers score
  11. Green Bay tailgates are overrated – been there and I wasn’t impressed
  12. If you didn’t know, people from Wisconsin take every chance they get to hate on Illinois and Chicago for no reason whatsoever, so don’t root for bullies
  13. And Wisconsin is really just Illinois’ largest National Park anyway, so root for the state’s rightful owner
  14. And one more, more than half of Wisconsin’s population is people from Illinois who own lake houses
  15. Wait! Another! The name they call people from Illinois is DUMB too – “flatlanders” sounds like an insult out of a church camp
  16. The other name they call people from Illinois is also DUMB – “Fucking Illinois Bastards” or “FIBs” – at least you went from church camp to middle school level with this insult – but it it still sucks
  17. People from Wisconsin don’t know how to drive in the left lane properly
  18. They also call water fountains “bubblers” for God knows what reason
  19. Their team colors are UGLY
  20. Just think about their mascot too – meat packers? I’m all for blue collar workers, but they would stand no chance against a Bear in real life. Pauly from Rocky was a meat packer…are you gonna trot his ass out to battle? Nope. Didn’t think so.
  21. If you’re a Bachelorette fan, then you definitely shouldn’t root for them if you like Jordan Rodgers
  22. The town is literally a suburb of 100,000 people and shouldn’t have a football team – they really should be in Milwaukee
  23. The state of Wisconsin is so boring that all they can really do is drink – need proof? Here it is
  24. Packers fans born in Illinois or Chicago are the most annoying because they constantly tell you how cool they are for being a Packers fan and not a Bears fan – nobody gives a shit
  25.  And to finish it out: PACKERS SUCK

-Kurbs

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