Dolphins Win The Super Bowl. I Guess Cheaters CAN Win.

Yesterday marked the dreaded face to face meeting between the Pats and the Dolphins in Miami (can confirm it’s very hot there) and between me and cheater Danny Amendola. Danny only had one catch for 10 yards and it was probably the last perfect 10 he’ll ever get if I have anything to say about it.

Good to know the city of Miami proudly supports cheaters. I’m not sure if one or both of these people is cheating but wearing an Amendola jersey is the new sign for swingers. I give them 3 months.

This was my first NFL game in another stadium and I have to admit things ran a lot more smoothly in Miami than they do in Foxboro. There were no lines for the women’s bathroom or at the concessions. It could be because the Dolphins haven’t played an important game there since the 80s and there are at least 50 better options of things to do than go to a football game, but this felt like a Patriots home game until the Dolphins won on a last second miracle and all of a sudden felt vindication from years of abuse by Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. As I was leaving the stadium some guy really got me in a pretzel when he yelled “SEE YOU LATER!!” to which I sternly replied “well we won’t because you aren’t making the playoffs!” In return he said “no you won’t it’s fucking cold there I’d rather be at the beach!!” Point to that Dolphins fan because he’s right I fucking love the beach. These spoiled brats even get an escalator to the 300 section. It’s a full lower body and cardiovascular workout getting to the 300s at Gillette.

Maybe it was because I was a part of a huge group of Patriots fans who take an annual trip down here for this game or because half of the residents of Florida are New England transplants but my entire section was Pats fans. That is except this Florida woman who, without a last second miracle lateral play, would have been the worst part of my day. She waved her teddy bears whenever someone next to her nudged her that something important happened. I swear she watched no more than 3 actual snaps of football but I’m sure her Facebook page is littered with selfies and check-ins at the Dolphins gift shop.

Again, I take partial responsibility for this one. Most of the Patriots losses in recent memory have happened when I’m not sitting at home alone on my couch. In 2016-2017 I was out for the Jacoby Brissett Bills game and on a flight for the Seahawks game and those were the only 2 games they lost that season. Whatever justification I need to not leave the house on Sundays, the Patriots are giving it to me.

That being said I never leave a game until the clock reads 0:00 so when people started walking back to their cars with 0:07 left I felt uneasy. I mean I’m sure nothing will go wrong putting Gronk on defense for the final play despite being a human crash test dummy! I’ll give it to him, this was Gronk’s most Gronk game of the year and it was fun to watch in person. Watching that TD catch (and the one to Patterson) was my version of going to see The Nutcracker ever year. It’s just not the holidays until Tom Brady is back to throwing dimes like that.

The Red Zone issues that haunted my dreams after the Jets game continued and you can blame Belichick for putting Gronk back there at the end or Gostkowski for missing uncharacteristicly easy kicks, but not being able to score in the red zone at the half, and again at the end of the game was the biggest thing to blame. Brady’s mismanagement of the second half was just as rare as the Dolphins winning on a last second lateral TD and I’m just glad they’re getting these things out of their system now.

When the Patriots have looked bad this year, they’ve looked real bad. Kansas City Chiefs and Philadelphia Eagles a few years ago bad. But actual journalists are trying to say this is the worst regular season loss ever? That the current #2 seed, who has a longstanding history of redemption against all odds should just pack it in and call this season a loss? These people need to be held accountable.

This team sure as hell might not go to Atlanta but this is like telling kids Santa isn’t real. There’s really no point to ruining the magic of it all and deep down we all kind of still leave the cookies and milk out in case. The Patriots have as good of a shot as anyone to be in Atlanta for their third straight Super Bowl appearance. Winning consistently isn’t easy so now the Patriots are starting to come up with historic ways to lose. I’m not getting off the bandwagon yet, especially after listening to Matt Slater tell us all how to move forward. If only the Boston media had an ounce of mental fortitude. We’re on to Pittsburgh to take out the trash aka Mike Tomlin.

We have to process it, air out our grievances, if anyone has any, and move forward. There’s no magic pill or secret recipe to move past this. It’s mental fortitude. It’s mental toughness. It’s character and professionalism to move forward.

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