You may have forgot, but just about a month ago Danny Amendola paraded around a beach in Miami with some Instagram skank while he was definitely not on a break with his perfect girlfriend as she traveled to Australia to film a sports illustrated photo shoot.
You may have forgot, but if you can’t tell I sure didn’t. Danny has been dead to me for the past month, and the Dolphins have pretty much been dead to everyone else for the same amount of time. Coincidence? You tell me.
Seriously, the Dolphins had 1 primetime game this season. Vs. Houston. On a Thursday Night.
A few weeks ago, right after TMZ broke this story and Olivia and Danny broke up, I tuned into the Dolphins game randomly and unfortunately saw that Danny was in a little pain. Now it wasn’t life threatening or even career threatening to lay off me for saying this, I didn’t hate watching Danny Amendola in a little bit of pain. How do you think it felt for Olivia when she landed in Australia with a suitcase of bikinis so she could shoot her iconic photo shoot for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit to learn that her boyfriend had not only cheated on her with a b rate Olivia wannabe but he also used actual scissors to cut his denim skinny jeans into shorts????
Even worse, how do you think it felt for me when I had to completely give up hope on life and love? Danny Amendola ripped out the hearts of millions of girls across the country when he did not bring his own sand to the beach.
When I learned my mom had planned a trip for my birthday for us to attend the December 9th New England Patriots vs. Miami Dolphins game in Miami, I thought maybe I’d plan a cute tweet to see if I could get Olivia to like it. Maybe she’d even take a strategically cropped pic with me and I could have a friend photoshop it enough to be able to post it. She started posting cute custom Dolphins Amendola gear and I was sure she wouldn’t miss the Pats game.
Now we’re entering this week on a different note. I know Olivia won’t be there, although it would be really petty and amazing if she did. I want her to thank u, next the fuck out of Danny Amendola and just show up in a Edelman jersey and hot pants. Have sex with Edelman if you want, I wouldn’t blame her.
Danny’s non-life threatening injury kept him out of the Dolphins previous game against the Bills but I mean, is he even hurt in the first place? I write a strongly worded blog about cutting his dick off for doing what he did to Olivia and he sees a big red circle on his calendar for our date at the game in Miami in a few weeks. He had to make it look real by faking this injury a week earlier so he could sit out the Bills game and have a few more days to think about how he was going to handle our upcoming encounter.
Danny has been limited in practice since Wednesday and his playing status for Sunday is still unclear.
“But this is the first time that I would say that he’s not being very compliant with me. He wants to play in this game as bad as anybody. I’m trying to give him a little bit of the ability to show that he can go, but at the same time just try to make sure that we get through the week the right way, (so) we don’t lose him for any longer than we already have.” -Dolphins Coach Adam Gase
No one wants to get on the field more than Danny. Sure, act it up Danny “Playoffs”, but you’re Danny “Playa” to me now.
I also might have doubled down on my original blog saying I wanted to cut his dick off by continuing to post scissor emoji’s in his Instagram comments. You made your bed, Danny.
One thing that is not questionable is my status for this game. I will be in full fan uniform on Sunday headed to Hard Rock Stadium ready to face all the cheaters and the liars head on. I’ve never been to a real game without having at least 4 layers of longjohns to hold me down, so I think I’ll be at my best this week. We’ll wait to see what kind of game shape Danny’s in.