Today is CEO Joe’s birthday. Apparently it had to be recognized for some reason. The guy is like 31 or something who cares grow up Peter Pan. Anyway, the folks here decided to make a video of all of u singing Happy Birthday to Joe. I noticed some really great beards in the crew. Let’s rank the 5 best.
5. College “8 Ball” Mike
Very good beard, it’s very light though. It’s not dark enough to be ranked higher. Covers the entire chin and sides and you have to respect the beard on 8 ball. That’s a man beard.
4. Vinny Vaca
Nice dark beard, doesn’t go all the way to the lip though, I deducted points for that and the filter. Still a mans-mans beard.
3. Chi-Town Eric
This is a grown man beard, perfect, thick and dark covers every inch it’s supposed too. This is a Chi-Town beard probably gets sausage toppings stuck in it at Bears games.
2. Ru (me)
This is a grown man’s beard that makes grown men shiver in their boots. That’s the look of a man who will drink a gallon of beer with one hand and steal your girl with the other. You don’t mess with a man that has a beard like that, you don’t even try.
Look at that beard. Just remarkable I have never seen anything like it. Full growth giving me full growth if you’re picking up what I’m putting down. Just imagine all of that fuzz nestled next to you on a cold christmas morning by the fire-place. It’s snowing outside and children are playing with their new toys as you sip hot chocolate with marshmallows in it, the mini ones of course, you’re delicate and that’s what you like. It reminds you of your childhood and the easier times. You look over, a marshmallow has stuck into Meag’s beard, you pull it out and you both laugh, it’s Christmas after all. She opens her present, it’s a trimmer for her luscious beard, you hug. That’s what Meag’s beard says to me.
PS- Harry Mayes, I was told I was going to be at the end of the video. I was promised that and you flexed on me. I will not forget this, ever.
Let me wobble back to my corner, Joe Pa knew.