O Captain! My Captain! Brian Urlacher Should Suit Up for the Pro Bowl

Ladies and gents, Brian Urlacher is BACK!

Well…sort of.

The Bears linebacking badass has been named the Legends Captain of the NFC team at the 2019 Pro Bowl. The other Legends Captains include Jim Kelly, Emmitt Smith and DeMarcus Ware.

Now, we all know the Pro Bowl is the most pointless game of all All Star games, but I’m here to propose something the NFL should do with these Legends Captains…

Let’s have these Captains PLAY in the Pro Bowl. 

Ok, just think about it.

How sick would it be to see Urlacher suit up again and play some ball? I bet he could still knock some heads and chase down backs sideline to sideline. Patrick Mahomes, Phillip Rivers and Andrew Luck would shit themselves if they had to play against an NFC team with LACH roaming around. I’d shed tears of joy to see #54 play one last time.

And how great would it be to see DeMarcus Ware pass rush the shit out of some kids? I bet Emmitt Smith could still run the ball down the hole, too. After all, he’s still a competitor – he won Dancing With The Stars a billion years ago – that fire is there.

And don’t you DARE tell me Jim Kelly can’t still sling the ball at 58 years old – age is just a number. Plus, I’m sure Jim wants to restore the Kelly name after his nephew Chad fucked it all up earlier this year.


Just consider it, Mr. Roger Goodell. Want to make the Pro Bowl more interesting? Let these Legends suit up.

Also, if Brian Urlacher does play, he’s gonna have to rock his old look with a bald head. I don’t think I can watch him play with hair – even if he is wearing a helmet AND even if he does get paid FAT CHECKS by Restore. I will say, the hair does look good.

Image result for brian urlacher restore
Photo: RESTORE Hair 

O Captain! My Captain! (anyone else love when they yell this shit in Dead Poets Society?)


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Featured Photo: Chicago Sun-Times

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Scott Kurbyun
Scott Kurbyun
December 6, 2018 8:39 am

I’ll go one better. Lets dig up the corpses of the best players of all time, strap them to dollies and push them around the field one last time. Imagine Red Grange with a football stuffed under his arm being pushed down the field towards Bronko Nagurski! Now that’s a game I would pay to see