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Ladies. Don’t Let This Commercial Make You Think It’s OK To Propose To Your Man.

In the midst of my regular trashy reality TV programming, I recently saw this commercial and I don’t think I’ve slept since.

Watch for yourself:

Now think about the face you were making trying not to physically cringe watching this poor, sad, desperate woman proposing to her cute and nerdy, but most definitely a closet porn addict boyfriend.

I am all about a strong independent woman, a bad gal if you will, breaking the mold and taking on traditionally male gender roles. But let them buy us the expensive rings and decide if they’re ready to get married. Women probably decide on average within 3 months of dating someone if they’d accept a marriage proposal from a guy. Some men need decades. If we left that kind of decision up to men to answer, well, I don’t think we’d be able to handle the stupidity of what would happen. It seems easy enough to just mentally guilt and bully someone into proposing to you if it’s something you really want to happen. Women have the capability to pull off moves like that. But we can’t be out in the streets proposing to guys. It’s just a bad look.

It’s actually a horrible commercial from a business standpoint for Jared anyways. I worked in advertising for years and if I had to critique this creative, I would need to book a conference room for a full 2 hours. Words I never miss hearing. If I were to pull the data, I can’t imagine men’s wedding rings are the a good percentage of the business at Jared. The picture at the end of the commercial even goes to a woman’s engagement ring, doesn’t it?

Let’s be honest as feminists, the best time to be a woman has got to be during wedding planning. You get parties, gifts, and your significant other is forced to constantly tell everyone how much they love you. And the fact that you get two rings: an engagement ring and a wedding ring. With all the diamonds and shit that we deserve, Jared is making their most money in women’s jewelry, from the men in the household. Three months salary is a simple guideline that has definitely gone up a little bit due to inflation.

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This little bitch watches while his poor girlfriend gets on her knees, pours her heart out and opens a ring box to say will you marry me? Then this guy turns around and flashes his engagement ring to a group of strangers? his friends and family? did she also throw him a surprise engagement party and not one of them told her it was a horrible idea? I’m disappointed in all the plot holes.

I can’t imagine anything more emasculating than having your girlfriend beat you to a proposal. She’s either so sick of trying to drop hints or was inspired by an exclusive feminist reddit community to build up the balls for a move like this. And I don’t want it giving anyone else any ideas.

But if you are looking for ideas for what ring to propose to me with I’ll just leave this here….

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