Shutting Up that Stupid Horn: 10 Thoughts on the Bears Win Against the Vikings

Does anybody else HATE that horn the Vikings play at their home games? I can’t stand the damn thing. I know the Bears whooped some purple and yellow ass at Soldier Field and not at the Vikings stadium where they play it, but every time I even hear the word “Vikings,” that god awful sound rings in my head.

Anyway, the Bears showed up in prime time last night and let the league know that they can hang. Here are my thoughts on their dub vs the Vikings.

This was the defense’s game: Holy hell did the defense come out on fire. In a game where the offense wasn’t its usual, high-powered 30+ points self, the D said “don’t worry, we’re here to fuck shit up” and indeed they did. The results? 3 turnovers, a pick 6, 268 yards of total offense with only 22 – yep, 22 – rushing yards against a high-powered Vikings offense. The pocket was constantly collapsing, there was crisp tackling and the fear of God in the Vikings’ eyes. Have a damn day, D.

This D-Line is scary AF: Continuing my love fest for Fangio’s bunch, the D-Line was brutally scary last night. Khalil Mack and Akiem Hicks provided break-your-nuts sacks and the entire cast had Kirk Cousins under pressure the entire night – they were a huge reason for Eddie Jackson’s interception return for a tuddie. And how about the The Dream Akiem Hicks? FIVE tackles for loss?? Are you kidding?! The big bearded bad man was unstoppable against the run and ate Vikings offensive linemen for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And Khalil Mack? He’s laying low right now because he’s wanted for murdering Riley Reiff on this play…

Eddie Jackson really is the BEST: First he was rated as Pro Football Focus’ top safety and now this? Eddie Jackson is really proving that he is the best. The Bama Man is playing out of his mind and has been murderin’ wideouts and running backs ever since his bad game against the Dolphins. Look for #39 in the Pro Bowl and possibly on the All-Pro defense by the end of the year.

Cody Parkey stepped his shit up: How weird is football? I haven’t even mentioned the offense yet and now I’m talking about CODY FUCKING PARKEY. This dude deserves a huge pat on the back after nailing three field goals – especially a clutch game-icer from 48 yards at the end of the game. After being followed by helicopters at Solider Field as he practiced last week like a goddamn politician, the dude came through. He took a big step towards earning the trust of Bears fans…but he’s still gotta be more consistent. I’m no longer tweeting #FireParkey. Instead, let’s tweet #MakeItParkey.

Mitch was shaky, but clutch AND played as well as an MVP candidate: Mitchell Trubisky didn’t have a good game. There, I said it. We good now? Man, even in victory, people want to bring this kid down. I wanted more out of Mitch as much as any other fan, but he came through when it mattered – please see the C-L-U-T-C-H throw he made to Allen Robinson on 3rd and 8 for 17 yards with less than 4:00 remaining. I’d also like to add, the man played about as well as DREW BREES did against the very same Vikings a few weeks ago – not saying he shouldn’t have been better, but let’s put alllll this shit in perspective and calmmmmmm down. Don’t believe me? Look at the numbers below per ESPN.

Mitch vs Vikes stats

Brees vs Vikes

Anthony Miller is the man: That’s all I’m saying for now…stay tuned for a special piece I’m working on about #17. But shout out to the salute celebration to Steve Smith.

Image: Jerry Holt

I hope Adam Shaheen is OK: Was anybody else excited to see Adam Shaheen back on the field? I thought he flashed huge potential last year and I never mind having a 6’6 target for Mitch to throw to. His only catch in the game was a 2-point conversion jumpball catch and now he’s unfortunately in concussion protocol. I hope he’s all good and I want more of these jumpballs between #10 and #87.

Image: Bearsessed

Matt Nagy knows his math: Matt Nagy clearly paid way more attention in math class than my ass ever did. Loved the plays he drew up for two converted 2-point conversions and the math ended up checking out in the end. Imagine if the Bears don’t make those – the game would have been wayyyy closer than we would have liked.

And he truly is Swaggy Nagy: Honestly just sharing this clip because it’s dripping with Swag. Swaggy Nagy is slowly taking over Sean McVay’s spot for the head coach with the most swag in the league.

The orange jerseys look nice under the lights: I’m of the crowd who loves the orange jerseys. But, I must say, they do look way cleaner and sicker at night and under the lights.

Stop with the odds: A report came out today that said the Bears had the fifth-best odds win the Super Bowl. What do I say? STOP. I don’t wanna hear any of that shit. It’s Chicago vs everyone and I want our boys to keep playing with that huge chip on their shoulder. “Fifth-best odds.” Get the fuck outta here with that shit.

Coach Q Can Hang!: Lastly…how about COACH Q? I thought people were joking when they posted videos of a mustached-man swigging back liquor off a shot-ski, but I’ll be damned it was actually him! Shout out to Coach Q for supporting our boys in Blue & Orange and for spending his time tailgating to the tune of $6 million-a-year. WE STILL LOVE YOU JOEL!!!

Onto Detroit for the morning Thanksgiving game – my favorite part of my favorite holiday. BEAR DOWN.

Also, impress the shit out of your family – including that annoying relative – by showing you are thankful for Our Outside Linebacker and Savior. Purchase now on the Branded Sports Store!

Chicago's Outside Linebacker And Savior Navy T-Shirt Front


Follow us on Twitter @branded_sports and check out my Bears-Lions thoughts Thursday morning @ekurbyun as you shovel mashed potatoes and stuffing down your piehole.

Featured Image: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images


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