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You look like you’re going to a funeral… Maybe I am.

The Dallas Cowboys, my Dallas Cowboys are 3-5. They are on their first losing streak of the season, losing to the Redskins and then the Titans Monday night after their bye.

The Dallas Cowboys QB has been below average this season, and that’s putting it nicely… Ok, Dak stinks. He can’t read coverage, he can’t make the throws and to make it even worse…

Image – USA Today

His QB coach is a failed backup from Boise State. His offensive coordinator is stuck in 1956 and his head coach, well… Claps.

The offensive line has been a shell of itself, especially with All-Pro center Travis Fredrick out. Zeke has just been just ok lately, and the receivers can’t separate, except for their shiny new FIRST ROUND PICK…

And, this past week their defense was truly exposed for the first time all year. The unit that has been the backbone (of a 3-5 team.) Oh yeah… All-Injured Sean Lee is… injured again adding more massive pressure on the young linebackers.

Now they have to go on the road (where they have been dreadful) to…

P.H.I.L.A.D.E.L.P.H.I.A.

Image – The 74

The home of the defending super bowl champions. On Sunday night. With the birds wearing their all blacks… If Dallas wasn’t already in trouble, they are screwed now.

Say what you want about Philly fans, yes they are assholes, yes they are rude, yes they are rowdy. But guess what…

That is intimidating as hell. Add in the fact that it’s a night game, the gates will probably be open at 7AM so they can drink all day and it’s just another ingredient in the recipe of disaster for the Dallas Cowboys.

Bleeding Green

Almost forgot… Sproles is back, Timmy Jernigan is back and Lane Johnson is pulling a badass move by playing with about 12 injuries. And you know if Mills is out that will only help the Eagles. Am I bad Cowboys fan?

Nope just a realistic one.

I could see this game getting completely out of hand. It’s also the first time Dallas will be in Philly since they raised their SB Banner that you know the fans and team will be shoving down the Boy’s throats all night.

Did I mention they are wearing the all blacks?

Image – 247sports

Maybe it’s fitting. Because hopefully this will be the funeral for Jason Garrett’s Cowboys coaching career. If the Cowboys can’t win (which they can’t) then I want it to be so bad that…

Image – clutchpoints

Jerry has no choice but to fire Jason Garrett. Hell fire everybody (except Kris Richard.) I want Jerry to take Garrett out for a cheesesteak after the game and pull the old “I gotta go to the bathroom” and then never come back.

Leave Garrett sitting there, with his cheesesteak getting cold, with no football team and thinking to himself..

“Maybe if I coached more and clapped less… I wouldn’t be here right now.”

Gif – Giphy

I know this is your favorite week of the year Eagles fans. You love to trash on us Cowboys fans. But this year is different… This year I am just numb, and if you winning helps Clappy get out of town, well then so be it…

-Kevin “That Guy”

Follow Me on Twitter: @kmess22

Follow Us on Twitter: @branded_sports

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