No One Gives A Fuck About Your ‘I Voted’ Sticker

This is not a political post. I am pro exercising your right to vote and voting for whoever you please. But if I see one more person’s 2 month old child wearing an “I Voted” sticker on my Instagram feed, I’m going to gauge my eyeballs out with a rusty spoon, Salad Fingers style.

I didn’t want to look at your kid celebrating it’s 4 month birthday on a sheepskin rug with blocks and a 3 paragraph essay on its favorite hobbies (always tummy time!!) without any political undertones, and I certainly don’t want to have to report you for voter fraud. Also stop having kids to use as a social media mule for likes.


If the allure of getting a 2 cent sticker that’s bound to rip out my hair all day is enough to get millennials to vote, I am all for it. As long as you do an ounce of research to figure out what you’re voting for. I know the issue is getting people to vote but if we’ve got basic bitches across the country Instagram-living their ballots, I hope there can be some thought to it. Instagram didn’t even release a pretty “I Voted” filter today.

Until there is a feature across social media to hide these posts, we need to stop encouraging it. Leave the politics to the grandmothers with guns of Facebook and keep it off my Instagram and Twitter. Nothing says political change like a trending hashtag.

Also I’m going to need people to stop reminding everyone to vote today–WE FUCKING KNOW. If you aren’t aware that today is the day to vote, it’s too late for you, try again in 2020. Taylor Swift has been reminding us for months.

If you’re into seeing every photo of every person who voted today you are a certified sociopath who needs to be eliminated in society, but here’s a compilation of all the celebrities doing it! The only thing I could care less about than your baby wearing an “I Voted” sticker is seeing a D list actor wearing one.

Collect your participation trophy at a polling station across the country today. If you don’t, Taylor Swift will write a new album about it.




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