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Pssssttt….Want To See A Dead Body Turned Into A Deader Body?

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This is why I miss going to bars all the time. Now that I’m married and a father, late night party Joe has sailed away. There are pros and cons.

Pros: I have a lot more money in my checking account. I don’t have to stand around forever waiting for a beer. No more getting bumped into by a guy looking to show how tough he is.

Cons: I miss watching people fist fighting dressed as zombies.

It’s a very specific con but a con non the less. I was never a fighter. I’m much too pretty for that nonsense. These high cheekbones weren’t meant to be slugged by a fella that’s had one too many Mind Erasers. BUT I was always an instigator. I’m a pot stirrer, it’s what I do. “Hey I think that guy said he wanted to bang your chick.” Or when the shoving starts just give the classic “You going to let him talk to you like that??!!!??!” Whatever gets the action started. Then I take a few steps back to a safe but viewable area and order another drink.

Eventually the madness makes it’s way outside by choice or by the bouncers tossing them on their heads. Now the bar is a little more clear, everyone can get their drinks faster and have a little bit more personal space. I’m a man of the people.

You’re welcome

-JP

Featured Image: Daily Mirror

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