Calling ALL Americans: You need to root for Ben “Funky” Askren.
The UFC recently acquired Askren from ONE Championship in exchange for former flyweight kingpin Demetrious “Mighty Mouse” Johnson. It was the first trade – yes, TRADE – in MMA history.
It’s been a long time coming for Askren, who has beat so much ass outside of the UFC as the former Bellator welterweight champion and most recently as the ONE welterweight champ.
Oh, and he was an Olympian as well as a two-time NCAA champion – the dude is fucking legit.
Why am I calling Americans to root for this man? Because it’s time we get behind a fighter like Ireland gets behind Conor McGregor and Russia gets behind Khabib. I’m sick and tired of all these crazy Irish and Russian fans having all the fun when they root for their fighters.
Like Herb Brooks said (or at least Kurt Russell said playing Herb Brooks in Miracle), this is our time.
Askren is the perfect American fighter to support as an American fan: he’s undefeated (18-0), is dominant as they come (the man has basically never been hit in any of his fights) and talks shit like a champ.
I mean, just look at some of these burns from the past few days…the man does not give a FOOK!
Hey @nickdiaz209 word is you blew all your money and need to fight again. I realize you haven’t won a bout since 2011, but people still seem to think you are good. I’m willing to show them otherwise!
— Funky (@Benaskren) October 26, 2018
And @NateDiaz209 you can’t keep waiting on your sugar daddy @TheNotoriousMMA to make you some more money. If big bro lets you out of the house and your feeling funky holler at me
— Funky (@Benaskren) October 26, 2018
Hey @darrentill2 you feel like going on a losing streak?
— Funky (@Benaskren) October 25, 2018
Jorge you haven’t won a fight since Jan 2017! If you had a shred of self awareness you would realize it would be an honor for you to share the cage with me. https://t.co/oI5BCDS0RM
— Funky (@Benaskren) October 25, 2018
Well I appreciate you being the only one with the courage Mike, but let’s be real: you suck, you know you aren’t getting the shot. https://t.co/xMAV4jpZmg
— Funky (@Benaskren) October 25, 2018
Askren also has a bit of Stone Cold Steve Austin in him – he’s already fucking with his new boss, Dana White like Stone Cold fucked with Vince McMahon. The two were at odds before this deal happened (not gonna get into that here), but Askren isn’t backing down from messing with him.
Hey BOSS, time to unblock me 😉 pic.twitter.com/563Pr51MbC
— Funky (@Benaskren) October 27, 2018
By the way, anyone who says Askren’s fighting style is “boring” can go fuck themselves. They just don’t appreciate the sheer skill this crazy curly headed guy has.
It’s time to rise up, American MMA fans. Let’s come out in droves to support our guy from Milwaukee. I wanna hear “USA” chants throughout the arena. I want big cheers each time Askren lands a takedown or some ground & pound – especially when he smacks his opponents silly.
It’s Funkytown, USA vs The World. USA! USA! USA!
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-Kurbs
Featured Image: MMA Fighting