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Thank God Rihanna Said No To The Super Bowl Halftime Show So We Can Enjoy Maroon 5

Said no one ever.

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Last month it was announced that Maroon 5 would be the halftime performer of Super Bowl LIII in Atlanta and Twitter naturally had a meltdown. I didn’t want to say it then out of fear of backlash from the keyboard bullies, but Maroon 5 does have a lot of hits. Seriously, go to their Spotify and put that shit on shuffle and tell me that doesn’t bang. You’ve got upbeat jams and music to cry yourself to sleep to at night (not that I do that).

But for a Super Bowl halftime show? We need PERFORMANCE. We need Justin Timberlake poppin titties out, Lady Gaga jumping from 3,000 feet in the air, Beyonce and Bruno Mars getting the ladies in formation. Nothing will ever top the best Super Bowl halftime show featuring Nsync, Britney Spears, Aerosmith, Nelly and Mary J, but the moves like Jagger just aren’t gonna cut it.

But if this news doesn’t rock the NFL and its owners to their core, nothing will. Apparently CBS and the NFL really wanted Rihanna to perform at Super Bowl LIII.

“They offered it to her, but she said no because of the kneeling controversy. She doesn’t agree with the NFL’s stance.” -Us Weekly insider

Not to get political but what do you have to say to this Donald Trump? Roger Goodell? You just robbed every American of the opportunity to enjoy themselves in more ways than one during Super Bowl LIII.

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I’m usually pretty stressed during the Super Bowl because the Patriots are usually playing in it. Having Rihanna perform at halftime would have given me something to look forward to on February 3rd. Usually I am a ball of stress, can’t eat and need to switch back and forth with the Puppy Bowl for relaxation. Now all I’ll be able to enjoy is the Patriots possibly winning their 6th Super Bowl, their 3rd in 5 years.

But if I’m being honest, I would rather have watched Rihanna perform. They don’t call me BadGalAli for nothing (no one actually calls me that, yet).

Follow me on Twitter

@aliweitz

@BarstoolBadGal (see I told you!)

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