Fishing for Dolphins: 8 Pregame Thoughts on the Chicago Bears vs Miami Dolphins

FINALLY we are back from an off-week for the Bears. After that Tampa Bay game, I felt like the NFL honey-dicked me with their scheduling of the Bears. I wanted to see the defense murder another offense and Mitchell Trubisky chuck tuddies, but nope, HAD to be the off-week. It was all a big tease.

But we’re back here at Week 6 as the Bears take their talents to South Beach and square off against the 3-2 Miami Dolphins.

Here are my pregame thoughts on the Monsters of the Midway’s game with the underwater mammals of the AFC East.

Back from the Off Week: Before we get into anything, Hub Arkush and JJ Stankevitz brought up a good point on the Under Center podcast: why was last week called a “bye week”? A bye is usually an advantage your receive for being the #1 seed in the playoffs. A simple break in the schedule is really just an “off week” – so that’s what we’re going with. Anyway, it will be interesting to see how Matt Nagy’s crew responds from their first off week under their new coach. The Bears have had times where they absolutely shit themselves after an off week and they’ve had times where they continue to be successful. So, here’s to hoping the boys in Blue & Orange have it together this week.

All Healed Up: Halle-fucking-lujah, the off week came at a good time for two injured Bears – namely starting cornerback Prince Amukamara and rookie wide receiver Anthony Miller. Yes it was great to see Kevin Tolliver step up nicely against the Bucs in Prince’s absence, but it will be nice to see Prince back as the #2 corner. I also can’t wait to see Anthony Miller get folded back into the offense after their 48 point rout two weeks ago. Miller was looking to have a breakout game against the Cardinals before dislocating his shoulder. But what better time to get back in after your quarterback went off for the game of his life? Miller Time is back, baby.

Image: GIPHY

Dolphins O-Linemen are not Friends, They ARE Food: Like that altered reference to Finding Nemo? Well, it works perfectly for the Bears defensive front seven this weekend. Khalil Mack and the boys will be facing a Dolphins offensive line that will be missing starters Josh Sitton and Daniel Kilgore, and may not have their starting left tackle Laremy Tunsil. What does this mean for the Bears D? Time to eat like a school of sharks (actually looked up what you call a group of sharks). But seriously, Ryan Tannehill is fucked not having solid protection in front of him against a Bears defense that is #2 in the league with 18 sacks through 4 games.

Image: GIPHY

Adam Gase and Dowell Loggains Face their Former Team: Many forget, Adam Gase was the offensive coordinator for the Bears before he took the head coaching job with the Dolphins. He helped produced the best season Jay Cutler had as a Chicago Bear and gave people hope that the John Fox regime could actually be good. Fast forward, Gase is the captain of a Miami ship that started off strong in his first season, but has since been absolutely fucked with injuries and is in sort of an identity crisis – are they still in contention? Are they rebuilding? Nobody has a goddamn clue. Nevertheless, I liked Gase in his lone season as a Bears coordinator and wish him well – except his squad is gonna get jacked up on Sunday. Oh, and I cannot forget our man Dowell Loggains, who was quite possibly the worst offensive coordinator in Bears history. Why Gase even gave him the OC job in Miami confuses the hell out of me, but it allows Vic Fangio to remind him how much he sucks.

Loggains and Gase
Image: Sports Mockery

The Offense Needs to Keep Up their Momentum: We’d be the shittiest fans ever if we expect our boy Mitch to throw 6 touchdowns every game moving forward (although that would be awesome). With that, I just want the offense to look good again this week and keep improving. The Tampa blowout gave the guys a nice blueprint of what can work really well and I know Nagy now has even more at his arsenal to make this offense elite. Here’s to another good game from Mitch and more spreading of the pigskin across the weapons the Bears have at wideout and in the backfield.

Image: Chicago Bears Twitter

Fuck these Jordan Howard Trade Rumors: Anyone who wants to trade Jordan Howard right now needs to stop reading my shit. Are we really serious about this? It seems like Bears fans couldn’t use their negative energy on Mitchell Trubisky after his crazy game, so they instead took it out on my guy Munch – especially when all these trade rumors for the Eagles started happening. Did we all forget that JH tends to do this as a running back? Last year he had 11 games with 76 yards or less and 5 games with 100+ yards. Sure, it’s not consistent, but that’s just how Munch is. And I have a feeling his big day is coming soon, Swaggy Nagy is just getting him ready…

Image: Chicago Bears Twitter

The Orange Unis are Back: In case you didn’t see, I wrote a post about my excitement for the Bears orange jerseys coming back. But I’m saying it again: THEY’RE BACK!!!

Prediction: Bears 28, Dolphins 13 – I think we’ll see another nice game out of our Chi-town boys this week against a struggling Miami unit. Mitch won’t go crazy, but will have a good performance and I know Khalil Mack is about to have the biggest game of his Bears career – all the dominoes are there to fall. Time to fish for some Dolphins and punch Flipper in the mouth.

Punch Dolphin
Image: The Oatmeal

Follow us on Twitter @branded_sports and follow me for my not-an-expert analysis @ekurbyun


Featured Image: Chicago Bears Twitter

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