He’s hurt, no wait, he’s healthy. Oh, he’s hurt again.

Lane Johnson is now listed as Questionable for tonight’s game against the New York Gina’s.


Fuckin’ Lane Johnson.  What’s this guy’s deal this year?  He went from juiced up maniac, to your average non-steroid using Tackle.

I know exactly who to blame.

The Goddamn NFL.  When Lane was on the gear, he was an unstoppable animal.  Never got hurt, embarrassed D Linemen, and led our backs to greatness.

Now that the NFL has forced him to get off the juice, the Eagles are suffering big time.

His ligaments are degenerating, his joints are always sore, and his nips are probably all puffy.  You didn’t see ANY of this bullshit happening when he was juicing.  For fucks sake, just let Lane go back to his old ways.  As a matter of fact, just let the whole league juice.  Imagine the NFL if all the dudes on the field were geared out of their minds.  It would be incredible.  It would be like the XFL, but better, because these guys actually know how to play football.

Please, Mr. Goodell, I beg you.  For the sanity of Eagles fans around the globe.  Let Lane back on the juice.



Featured Image – Bill Streicher/USA TODAY Sports via NESN.com

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