It is on record that I am a firm supporter in the gold digger lifestyle–if you’re smart about it. There isn’t one job in the entire world a woman could get out of college that pays as much as the rookie minimum. I know they don’t get the viewership but the average WNBA salary is $71K.
You can bust your ass to become a doctor, lawyer, even a professional athlete and you won’t crack a million until like 35. Or you can become an Instagram model and date a rich athlete and boom you’ve got a collection of Chanel bags. As a businesswoman, it makes a lot of sense.
That being said if you are going to marry a professional athlete, you need to be aware that he will be cheating on you. I’m especially jaded so in my opinion if you marry any man you should probably be aware he may cheat because men are disgusting. I don’t care what you look like or how good your vagina is, you aren’t immune.
The latest victim is Rachel Bush, an Instagram model turned NFL WAG, the ultimate dream.
In one corner (he’s a safety though), we’ve got Jordan Poyer. He has never been featured as a Six Pack Sunday nominee, mostly because he plays for the Bills and previously the Browns. He met his current wife Rachel Bush via Twitter in 2015. A feat I have been trying to accomplish since roughly 2009 but have only got as far as connecting with one Patriots player on LinkedIn.
And this is his Instagram model wife, Rachel Bush. She has a nice ass and would like everyone to know that about her.
In this modern day love story, Jordan and Rachel have been married since February and Rachel gave birth to their daughter back in 2016. Who could have predicted just 8 months later these lovebirds would be having trouble in paradise??
Well, in a shocking twist of events, things blew up for Jordan on the place where this all started, Instagram. Months ago it appeared that Jordan admitted to having an affair but the two seemingly worked it out.
In life we all make mistakes. Best thing to do is learn from them and to not make the same mistake twice. Letting down the ppl that mean the most to me sucks … I’m sorry @Rachel_Bush I love you to death .. can’t wait for us to grow stronger,” he wrote.
She later penned: “I want to make clear that I am no angel either and did things that could’ve pushed him to that point … Before we were married but no excuse on either end. Two wrongs most certainly do not make a right.
His alleged side chick Summer Rae (definitely a porn star name) has not let this go, likely because she thinks this may be her ticket to get the bag. As women typically do in this situation, the two are at each others throats instead of blaming the married man with a child who is fucking many women at once. If nothing they may want to go to the nearest OBGYN together for a STD check in.
Summer was under the impression that the two were getting divorced, which I for one am shocked people are still believing these days. Although it seems like she may have pretended to believe this for a check, which I also kind of respect.
Rachel was none too pleased with this side hoe (her words not mine) and she had some time (naturally because I do not think she has a job) to drag this out on Instagram.
Alright. I got some time. Maybe more. Depending on how mad I get 😂 don’t try and act all innocent. Got folders on your phone of guys in relationships. This is what you do. If we were divorcing or not. You a hoe. Don’t lie. pic.twitter.com/rvTUAvsfDa
— Rachel (@Rachel__Bush) October 10, 2018
I cannot confirm if Rachel Bush is indeed about that life but judging by these texts she sent Summer, a restraining order may be in order. Imagine getting back to your phone to this from your man’s wife? I’m picturing Rachel writing these messages too just like trigger fingers going WILD with a glass of wine in between taking a new ass shot for Instagram.
Some of my favorite quotes that I will be saving to threaten my future husband when he inevitably watches a TV show without me:
“Prayers for you and your whole family lol”
“Summer I will literally have everyone and their brother kick your ass”
“You’re gonna regret even being born”
“Have a good day my love”
Terez Owens has a lot more detail from the very public feud that is much more interesting than anything going on in my life, and there is a lot to unpack.
My personal favorite nugget was in Rachel’s response to Summer’s antics:
U WANNA BUY MY CAT?!?!?! What kind of inhumane cockamamie bullshit is this. Rachel is definitely right here, if you are gonna be hoe’ing around with married athletes, you are going to need to come up with a better code than wanna buy my cat. Also, PSA please do not sell cats to random strangers. Big crazy cat lady over here–shoutout to my son Wes Welker Jr, @weswelkerjrthecat on Instagram–less ass shots than Rachel but much cuter in the face. If I get the ‘u wanna buy my cat’ text from my sidepiece, I’m expecting a litter of kittens at my doorstep stat.
For now it seems like Rachel still has the upper hand, as it usually happens with WAGS. Once you get the ring, you have the power. Jordan’s been posting these stories all day, again mostly just featuring his wife’s ass. My advice for Summer is to start over. And to aim for a team better than the Bills.
