It has been a rough start to the season. The boys are 2-3 and their offense is performing as well as a mid level High School team would.
So many questions…
Did Dak forget how to throw a football?
Can any wide receiver on the team… Actually play?
Does Jason Garrett know how to coach or just clap?
Why does there offense completely… Suck?
But what are the answers?
I have watched every snap. I have done an extensive investigation.
Yes, the offensive line has struggled, but that’s not why they suck.
No, none of the receivers look like NFL Wideouts, but that’s not why they suck.
Yes, Dak Prescott has been struggling throwing the forward pass, but again that’s not why they suck.
So I dug deeper, I overturned every stone, checked every pizza place, every strip club, every Denny’s and I found the answer.
The Dallas Cowboys suck because of one man…
Mike Babchik or “Babs” as he’s known is the co-host of the ever popular “Morning Men” Show on MadDog Sports Radio, SiriusXM 82.
He’s what you think of as a… “Lovable loser.”
He’s a big gambler and seems like he always loses…
…But that’s ok because he’s a Jets fan and is used to losing. And losing to his co-host Evan Cohen, who’s a Pats fan.
Beyond being a fan of a losing football team, Babs is also a bit of a “mush” remember.. Bad Gambler.
Well Cowboys fans… Babs mushed us. He mushed Dak. He mushed America’s Team and I’m afraid there may be no coming back from it.
Before the season started Babs made a bet with Evan that the Cowboys would go over their win/loss Vegas prediction. Right then and there I thought, oh no.. No.. NO!
But it got worse…
Babs proceeded to gush all over the Cowboys. “I think they are going to have a great season.” Oh no… “I could see the Cowboys taking over the Eagles for the division.” He didn’t just say that.
Then he did it… “I think the Cowboys could actually make a run to the Super Bowl. It wouldn’t surprise me.”
And right then and there the Cowboys season died. It’s not because their prized FA WR Allen Hurns has like 4 catches in 5 games it’s because of that Babs quote.
I believe there is only one thing that can lift this black cloud hovering over AT&T Stadium that is known as Babs. We must get him to take back what he said and declare the Cowboys stink.
Without this I fear that the Cowboys season has truly been lost. I have created a change.org petition to make Babs reverse the curse!
PLEASE SIGN… REVERSE THE BABS COWBOYS CURSE
We needs FAL Nation and Cowboys Nation to come together as one and demand Mike Babchik declare he thinks the Cowboys stink and will not root for them.
I urge everyone.. Jerry Jones, Stephen Jones, Dak Prescott… Share this and have everyone you know sign it.
…Jason Garrett your job depends on it.
This will never be back in Dallas without reversing the Babs Cowboys Curse..
-Kevin “That Guy”
Follow me on Twitter: @kmess22
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Yup... I’m that guy