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Friday Night Frights!

Matt Holland

IT’S THE FIRST FRIDAY IN OCTOBER!! The month of spooks, stalkers, killers, monsters and creepy crawlies is finally here! One being that many people have a horrid phobia of, are clowns (fuck those things). That’s exactly why for the first Friday in the month of horror, I have chosen one of the most unsettling movies I have ever seen. It’s the first solo spin off about a character well known to horror buffs. His name, is “Art the Clown” and the movie is titled, “Terrifier”.

Now I warn you, if you don’t handle gore and unsettling images very well, this is NOT the movie for you. I mean it when I say this movie is more fucked than a prostitute on the Vegas strip. For those who don’t know, “Art the Clown” is a demonic clown who appears once a year; on Halloween. That’s when he comes out, with his bag of goodies to torture and kill the living. Believe me when I say his bag of goodies is all tricks and no treats. Not for a sane person anyway. Like many horror antagonists, he’s immortal and gets tremendous joy out of the slaughtering of others.

There are two parts that I found to be the most disturbing, but of course I’m not going to just tell you what they are. That’s something you need to see for yourself. These scenes even made a horror lover like myself grab my package, cringe into a slight fetal position and watch with one eye open. Art the Clown is quite disturbing to look at on his own as well, not even counting when he’s doing some seriously fucked up shit. In fact, I’d say he’s the scariest clown that I have ever seen in a horror movie (but seriously… fuck those things) and the brutality he uses when attacking his victims makes it ten times worse (ok really though who the fuck thought clowns were ever a good idea…apparently some dude named Joseph Grimaldi).

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Nightmares…but I digress.

So, if gore more disturbing than the “Saw” franchise and TERRIFYING clowns are something you’re into, then log into that beloved Netflix that you’re sharing with 10 other ppl, and watch this movie. Even if it’s not your thing and you’re just kind of curious to see how messed up it really is, then do it. I like knowing other people get scared and maybe even a little traumatized from horror movies that I recommend to them. Oh, and if you scare easily, you may want to have  a cuddle buddy, or at least a dog (we all know that cat wouldn’t give enough of a shit to protect you…cats are cute but they’re dicks).

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