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White Girls Worldwide Mourn Loss

Millions of women around the globe woke up to extremely disturbing and upsetting news this morning.

This is a huge loss for ladies everywhere – especially my wife.  Prosecco is the dessert of champagnes.  It’s sweet, but not TOO sweet.  The bubbles feel like a million tiny ballerinas dancing around on your tongue.  If you haven’t had it, I highly recommend it.

After that description, now you can see why so many women are heartbroken over losing 8,000 gallons of this precious drink.

If this explosion causes a worldwide shortage of prosecco, I don’t know what I’m going to do.  You’re high as a fucking kite if you think I’m going back to drinking that Brut bullshit.

Ladies and gentlemen alike – let’s band together to survive this catastrophe together.


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