I, Nicholas Russo (Ru) Have Been Hired To Investigate The Alleged Rumor That This Weekend Mike Babchik Had Alleged Sexual Relations With His Wife, Let Me State For The Record And For The Haters (Of Which There Are Many) I Am Not Yet A “Fal” And Will Investigate This With No Bias, No Remorse, And No Consideration For Those Involved , This Will Be Investigated With Fierce Desire For The Truth And Shall Take As Long As It Takes You To Read This Title, Thank You.

Accusation: Mike Babchik says he allegedly had sex with his wife over the weekend, other’s say it is “Fake News”

Accusers: Loyal Fal’s on twitter

Why I was tasked with this case: I once figured out that the Philly billboard girl who is from Boston who claims to be an Eagles fan… Is a liar!  I am new to the Fal community and became introduced to it when Kevin Messina blogged about The Morning Men.  I don’t let personal feelings get in the way of my investigations.  Truth be told I am one of the most feared investigators on the internet, just ask that damn billboard girl.  I have enormous balls.  I have a child due in 2 weeks, so I know sex.  I wrote the how to guide on getting MILFs.  That has nothing to do with this investigation I just thought it was a good blog.

Evidence so far:  Allegedly Mike Babchik is chubby and lazy, no way he is doing the sex.  Mike Babchik also allegedly loves beer according to the Fals, they call that whiskey dick Mike, this is looking bad.  In my extensive twitter search I found out that allegedly Mike has to bribe his wife for sex by promising to do chores, sucker move Mike just jerk off next time. Speaking of jerking off I allegedly found out Mike does it in the backyard in the “Wack Shack”?  I call it alone time in the shower, but a wack shack does sound nice.  Allegedly Mike gets caught watching a lot of porn.  I side with him on watching a ton of porn, I even wrote about the top 10 worst things in porn, I wonder what Mike’s thought’s are on that.  I hope he uses the incognito window as much as I do.  Allegedly his wife hates him, and I refused to believe it at first, then I received this tweet…

You need a stopwatch not a calendar

— Trappedinabadmarriage (@notbethbabchik) October 1, 2018

I do know Mike Babchik has a wife named Beth, but her handle says “Not Beth”.  It will take a lot of extensive research to find out if this is her or not. which I wont do and I just assume that it’s her, damaging info against Mike.

This is just the beginning, this investigation is going to take quite some time folks.  Who knows how long it will take.  Five, Ten minutes max?  Dozens and I mean dozens of you will hang on every word.

Hey Mike, time’s up fal…. (you get it)

https://twitter.com/branded_sports/status/1046872629616041990

P.S.- Yikes

I appreciate all you FALS tweeting my the 🍤 🍤. That would be one 🍤 per Mike @Babchik pump.

— Trappedinabadmarriage (@notbethbabchik) October 1, 2018

I’m told that shrimp emoji means sex, because Mike refers to sex as “Shrimp Parm”

P.P.S.- Two pumps if true is a pretty good accomplishment for Mike Babchik or any man for that matter, and for his wife that’s a great compliment.  You’re welcome hun.