Patriots Fan’s Guide to Surviving September Football

Welp, Sunday night sucked. There’s no way around that. The Pats looked slow, depressed and, at times, down right bad. If you woke up feeling hungover from the loss to the Lions (and that bottle of whiskey you downed at midnight to forget the game) then grab a coffee and continue reading. Here is the Pats fan’s guide to surviving early season losses.

The first step is self awareness. If this isn’t your first season as a Pats fan you already know that a week 2 or 3 loss is meaningless in the larger scope of the season. You know that the Patriots will still finish the season 12-4 or 11-5. You know Edelman will be back in less than two weeks time and he will open up the offense and the floodgates of victory. If you’re really paying attention you’ll also realize that Flowers and Chung will eventually be back as well as the flash who will be streaking down the sideline opposite Gronk, Edelman and Hogan.

Now that we’ve lowered that blood pressure and calmed the nerves of our own, let’s move to the real challenge of surviving the early dog days of football. The media and your friends.

You know the Patriots will be alright and so does everyone else in New England. But somehow the news has yet to get back to the general public even after 18 years of doing the damn thing.

The Goal of surviving the media is to stay grounded. Don’t get triggered online and keep a cool head when talking to people in person. A simple “we’re on to Miami” will suffice then keep it moving. And if that doesn’t satisfy your need to argue that the Patriots will be just fine then try this little tip. Bottle it up. It’s an old Irish trick to bury your feelings deep down inside where no one will see them. Unlike the Irish, you won’t hold on to those feelings until your last day, you only need to wait a month to spout off with them. Because in a month from now the Pats will sit atop the division after rattling off 4 or 5 wins and all will be right in the world. Then, and only then, do you show your true colors.

It’s a Belichickien approach and it’s worked for two decades straight. Don’t stray from success. Stay grounded.

Now keep you’re head up, get out there and don’t be scared to wear some Pats gear while you do it. Remember it’s our league until we decide to relinquish it to the peasants. And 2018 is not the year we do so.

Now wake me up when September ends.

Take it away Green Day.

Feature Image via Larry Brown Sports

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