If you haven’t yet heard, The Philadelphia Flyers unveiled a Ghastly new mascot today. Gritty is the new orange haired freak show’s name and even though at first glance you might want him pushed back to the depths of hell, I beg you to hear me out:
Since 2010 the Philadelphia Flyers have been dismal at best and them former bullies of broad street haven’t been scary since Hextall haunted our net. So I agree with this monstrosity’s creator, let’s get a mascot to do the scaring. This hairball is the thing nightmares are made from. If the team isn’t going to scare opponents on the ice, let’s get him scaring opposing players/fans off the ice. Any suggestions on what weapons he should be carrying?