One of the biggest franchises at Barstool, nay on the internet is Dave Portnoy’s “Pizza Reviews”. They’ve become a major staple with millions of people trying to recreate and do them like Dave. The old saying goes, often imitated never duplicated and that is very accurate when it comes to Dave and his pizza reviews. People love them, Barstool fans, non Barstool fans and women can’t get enough of them which is probably the reason Blake Bortles walked in on Dave getting a blow job, all thanks to pizza reviews. Dave finally decided to have an app made with the reviews and the scores and I am going to review it, totally unbiased without letting my Barstool fandom get in the way of my true feelings.
1. The Look
The app has a great look to it. When you first open it up it’s fun to look at it shows some of Brooklyn’s best scores you can watch some of the reviews and is very welcoming, as is Dave in his everyday life. Some on the internet are saying only a top-notch common man can make an app this welcoming, and Dave was that man.
2. User Friendly
Very easy to use and figure out. You sign in and go right to the map of the United States. Shows you not only Dave’s reviews and scores but the Pizza places near you and anywhere in the US. It even breaks it down by places that deliver. To make it that much easier if you click the arrow in the top right corner it will take you directly to your location so you can see the best around you. You can even bookmark your favorite ones.
I’ve never been to Sal’s I’ll be there today thanks to the One Bite App. I hope they give Dave commission it’s only fair. There is more to this though and something that is really cool.
3. Your own reviews
You can do your own reviews and put them out there. Kind of like one big fun pizza community. Of course you can also score every place you go to without recording a full review which is basically a much more common man version of yelp.
4. See all prior reviews plus celeb reviews
Anything you missed don’t worry about it, you can click on the tab in the bottom left corner and watch every review Dave has done. Oh you want to see the time a girl didn’t recognize a bunch of A-list actors and she only noticed Dave and Jeremy Renner was a total jabroni? Boom, click on celebrities and see that also.
I guess I have to give it a score just like Dave does for pizza. One app review everybody knows the standards. I give it a solid 8.9. Why is it not a 10? Because the second I go around giving Dave Portnoy perfect scores is the second he sit’s back and relax’s on his morals. That’s the second he gives up and if Dave gives up then Barstool is no longer what makes Barstool, Barstool. I know Dave will keep improving to one day aspire to that perfect 10 ranking, I look forward to that. Today is not that day though.
On an actual note, great app, great job I really have enjoyed playing around on it. Did Portnoy do it again, or did Portnoy do it again?
PS- Was trying really hard to somehow make the score 41-33 related because in Superbowl 52 the Eagles beat the Patriots 41-33. It didn’t make sense though so I just left it alone