I have been pretty hard on the Philadelphia Eagles fan base lately. A dumb dizzy broad had a dumb dizzy billboard put up in Boston, that sucked. People thought it was great, that sucked, and all offseason we pretty much as a whole wouldn’t shut the fuck up. We have been loud and obnoxious and I have been waiting for the fall. I have a huge fear the Cowboys will be good, I am worried about Carson’s knee, I worry the D is overrated and I’m just worried. I don’t like losing and I don’t like looking like a joke. I’ve thought the fan base and the team had been doing A LOT of talking this offseason, then I watched this.
Now I’m no dummy. Jason Whitlock is a troll, Skip Bayless is a troll and I pay them no mind 99% of the time. This however, this is the 1%. I am still worried about things with the team, how good they are, how tough the schedule is. That has not changed, but for the talking to much and being obnoxious I have a different tone.
This is for all the people in the back, listen up.
We have gone season in season out, off-season in off-season out hearing the same old jokes every time the Eagles are brought up. NO RINGS! NO RINGS! NO RINGS!!! We had Memes sent to us of The cowboys with 5 rings, the Giants with 4 rings, the R-words with 3 rings and us with a ring pop. We get pictures sent to us of a trophy case full of cob webs. Giants fans that wear Eagles jerseys that say last name “Superbowls” and the jersey number is 0. Now, now you want us to shut up? Now you don’t want us to be confident and full of ourselves. Maaaaaaannn……
For all those fans out there who sent those memes, who made those jokes. I’m looking at you cowboys twitter. Now you’re mad? Now you don’t have any jokes? Now you wanna say FIVE TO ONE, FIVE RINGS TO ONE! Suck my fat stumpy dick. We aint never gonna shut up because you haven’t shut the fuck up in 22 years! For 22 years you’ve said, No rings! No rings! No rings! Meanwhile ya’ll 10 gallon drum hat wearing sons-a-bitches were the BIGGEST joke of a franchise for TWO DECADES!!! Now you want us to shut up? Listen take our one Superbowl ring which is biggest and better than all of your 5 dusty ass artifacts combined. Shine that bitch up real nice, turn it side ways and stick it up your Texas sized ass. And don’t forget to…..
To the mother fucking Patriots fans. You know I don’t have too much bad to say to be honest. Some dumb dizzy bat broad that lives in your area put up a billboard and it was trash. I’d hate us too. HOWEVER. It was not that long ago in 2001 when you were a winless franchise with no rings. No hope. No sense of dynasty. Then you won, and you won again, and you beat us. You started something, you have created the greatest dynasty maybe ever, and you wanna know something? YOU HAVE NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP IN NEARLY 20 YEARS! You have every right too! You’re great! But ya didn’t shut up after the first one! You have not shut up since! So don’t sit in your gross Dunkin Donuts and tell me to be quiet! I’m gonna yell it from the mountain tops. I’m gonna yell it in your face and I’m not gonna stop! THE PHILADELPHIA EAGLES WON THEIR FIRST SUPERBOWL WITH A BACKUP QB AGAINST YOU ON FEBRUARY 4TH 2018! So next time you think about telling us to shut up or bring up your five. Remember kid, dynasty’s start at random moments, like in 2001. Keep this in mind always my guys….
That’s all I gotta say about any of that. I’m done being quiet and I’m done listening to the bullshit. Talk your shit champs! Talk it.
Let me wobble back to my corner, Joe Pa knew.