Alright, Where The Hell Did Cole Hamels Come From?

Last night, I went to the Cubs game at Wrigley Field with my cousin who offered me a ticket fo’ free. If you couldn’t tell by any of my previous posts, I’m a White Sox fan gearing up for future ass-kicking from Michael Kopech and Eloy Jimenez, but I’ll go to any baseball game you invite me to.

Plus, these seats were too good to pass up on a Chicago summer night:


Best part about last night? I wore a 1906 throwback Mark Buehrle jersey and NOT ONE Cubs fan noticed. I mean, you can’t really tell it’s a Sox jersey and I never want to be that douche who wears an obvious Sox jersey to a Cubs game the Sox are not playing in. Fuck those people.

1906 Throwback



This dude had ice cold water running through his veins last night.  Seven strike outs, countless groundouts and a good ol’ fashioned complete game for a 7-1 win over the Cincinnati Reds.

Is he The Terminator? I’m not sure, but he definitely might be.

According to, Hamels had a very sub-par 5-9 record with a 4.72 ERA, 114 strikeouts and a .258 batting average against across 114.1 innings pitched with the 5th place Texas Rangers. Meh.

But now? This killer is 4-0 with a (WTF) 0.79 ERA, 30 strikeouts and a .212 batting average against across 34 innings pitched with the CubbiesHoly. Shit. What has gotten into this man?

I’d also like to mention, Hamels can lay down a mean bunt — something my little league coach would have been proud of. I sucked HARDDD at bunting.

The 34-year-old pitcher could do no wrong last night. When he came up for his at-bat in the bottom of the 8th, Cubs fans gave the man a standing O for his gem of a game. And even after he struck out, this dude STILL got a standing O — first time I’ve ever seen anyone receive thunderous applause for eating shit at the plate. This man is a king to Cubs fans right now.

I’m gonna say it Cubs fans…you guys might have your Game 1 starter here for the playoffs. I know Jon Lester is usually your guy, but Cole Hamels isn’t playing any games right now. Put that man in.

Couple other notes from the game:

1. Kyle Schwarber needs to make his damn mind up about his walkup music – how do you go from “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica to “Thuggish Ruggish Bone” by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony? They’re both great songs, but just pick one, Kyle.

2. Javy Baez for sure ate his Wheaties yesterday morning after MURDERING a 481-foot home run to left-center field. Even though I’m a Sox fan, I’m campaigning hard for this man to be the NL MVP…watch the damage below:

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Featured Image: Cubs Twitter

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