Alright, Where The Hell Did Cole Hamels Come From?

Last night, I went to the Cubs game at Wrigley Field with my cousin who offered me a ticket fo’ free. If you couldn’t tell by any of my previous posts, I’m a White Sox fan gearing up for future ass-kicking from Michael Kopech and Eloy Jimenez, but I’ll go to any baseball game you invite me to.

Plus, these seats were too good to pass up on a Chicago summer night:

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Best part about last night? I wore a 1906 throwback Mark Buehrle jersey and NOT ONE Cubs fan noticed. I mean, you can’t really tell it’s a Sox jersey and I never want to be that douche who wears an obvious Sox jersey to a Cubs game the Sox are not playing in. Fuck those people.

1906 Throwback

Image: SportsLogos.net

Anyway…about the game: WHERE THE HELL DID COLE HAMELS COME FROM?!

This dude had ice cold water running through his veins last night.  Seven strike outs, countless groundouts and a good ol’ fashioned complete game for a 7-1 win over the Cincinnati Reds.

Is he The Terminator? I’m not sure, but he definitely might be.

According to MLB.com, Hamels had a very sub-par 5-9 record with a 4.72 ERA, 114 strikeouts and a .258 batting average against across 114.1 innings pitched with the 5th place Texas Rangers. Meh.

But now? This killer is 4-0 with a (WTF) 0.79 ERA, 30 strikeouts and a .212 batting average against across 34 innings pitched with the CubbiesHoly. Shit. What has gotten into this man?

I’d also like to mention, Hamels can lay down a mean bunt — something my little league coach would have been proud of. I sucked HARDDD at bunting.

The 34-year-old pitcher could do no wrong last night. When he came up for his at-bat in the bottom of the 8th, Cubs fans gave the man a standing O for his gem of a game. And even after he struck out, this dude STILL got a standing O — first time I’ve ever seen anyone receive thunderous applause for eating shit at the plate. This man is a king to Cubs fans right now.

I’m gonna say it Cubs fans…you guys might have your Game 1 starter here for the playoffs. I know Jon Lester is usually your guy, but Cole Hamels isn’t playing any games right now. Put that man in.

Couple other notes from the game:

1. Kyle Schwarber needs to make his damn mind up about his walkup music – how do you go from “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica to “Thuggish Ruggish Bone” by Bone Thugs-N-Harmony? They’re both great songs, but just pick one, Kyle.

2. Javy Baez for sure ate his Wheaties yesterday morning after MURDERING a 481-foot home run to left-center field. Even though I’m a Sox fan, I’m campaigning hard for this man to be the NL MVP…watch the damage below:

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Featured Image: Cubs Twitter

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