I just got back from an incredible trip to Italy. If you haven’t been.. Go. No seriously, just go right now. If you have been.. Go back.
I was in amazement when I was looking into the past at the Colosseum with my own eyes. It is truly spectacular. But, of course it got me to thinking of blogging and Branded Sports! And I thought…
“What athletes of All-Time would have made the best gladiators?”
So here is the Kmess All-Time Athlete Gladiator Team. The athletes who would have performed the best in the Colosseum. Based on badassness, mentality and swagger. Remember…
“Win the crowd.. Win your freedom.”
Your All-Pro Gladiator Team:
Bo knows, because Bo is one of the most badass mofo’s of all time. Bo’s weapon of choice would be a big ass club that he would beat down any opponent with. A sword? HA! Bo is too strong for a sword. I think he would actually will people to death with his stare which would make the mob go wild!
Ok, first that’s one scary man! He’s got that look like.. You cross me I kill you. He is 6’8, 278 lbs of pure muscle and athletic skill. He would be faster and stronger than almost any opponent he’d face in the arena! His big ass would only add more length with the trident! What a show he would put on!
You think there was any chance Weapon X wouldn’t be on this list? One of the most feared safety’s of all time along with one of the biggest motivators ever! That tunnel would be LIT before they went out to fight!! Weapon X wouldn’t need a weapon in the Colosseum.. He is the weapon!
Another scary ass human. He is a 6’4 255lb man who knows nothing but winning! (4X SB Champ) He would use an old school sword and do nothing but chop fools heads off. Because, that’s exactly what Billy is.. An old school asshole that’s about to kill everything in his path in front of the mob!
Ron “Metta World Peace” Artest:
Ron is not on this list because of size. Definitely not because of strength. Ron is on this gladiator team simply because… He is crazy! Out of his mind nuts. He went after fans in the stands during the Malice in the Palace. I think he would go into the “Emperor’s Box” and attack Cesar if he got the thumbs down. Ron would be a mad man on the arena floor all day long!
She is jacked. She is strong. She is fast. She is tough. She is fearless. She’ll fight with the girls, she fight with the boys.. And if I was a gladiator I’d damn sure want her on my squad. She would have the most lethal swing of that spiked ball on a chain that Rome had ever seen! She would undoubtedly Win the Crowd, and whoop some ass!
Ray wouldn’t simply walk into the Colosseum.. He would dance in. The crowd would be on their feet and the opponents pissing their pants. Ray would even pray for them before he ended them. Standing 6’1 weighing 240lbs with an intimidating stare, quick feet and powerful blows.. Ray would punish anyone put in front of him on the arena floor. Ray Lewis would put on the grandest show the Colosseum crowd had ever seen!
Ok, first that picture above is Herschel fighting MMA at age like 57. He’s a freak. He was a freak at Georgia, he was a freak in Dallas, he’s a freak now and would be the ultimate freak at the Colosseum. Can you imagine that powerful ass dude with a sword in his hand and life on the line? Game over.. Herschel already won his freedom, everyone else is dead! Mine as well be named Hercules Walker.
LT… Lawrence Taylor:
There are strong people on this list. There are talented people on this list. There are scary people on this list. There are crazy people on this list. But, LT is all of them combined… And to the max. LT would kill quicker than any gladiator in history. No one would even see him coming. Maybe it’s because he’s that fast. Or, maybe it’s because he sent ancient Roman prostitutes to the other gladiators rooms the night before. He would also be hopped up on Roman cocaine and adrenaline. He would change the way gladiators fought.. And just break dudes legs in half.
Yes. Tiger Woods. He would be an absolute savage in a fight and an absolute savage in the Colosseum. He would be the gladiator that would win at all costs. As soon as you looked away.. Boom he’d kick sand in your face. He’d use a long ass club stick the size of a 3 wood and upper cut fools with it in the jaw. He would paint the Colosseum floor Sunday Blood Red. And, if we love him so much now just golfing… Imagine how much that Roman mob would just die for him! He would take no prisoners and would always get his vengeance… Actually he would probably just conquer Rome.
Slay Gladiator Tiger.. Slay!
They have all Won the Crowd.
-Kevin “That Guy”
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