How are ya? I’m Eric Kurbyun, but I go by Kurbs. Nobody has ever been able to say my last name right anyway, so why even bother?
I’m here to bring some Chicago love to Branded Sports. CEO Joe put out the Bat Signal for Chicago writers, so I reached out and here we are, motherfuckas.
I’ve always loved sports, but I’ve never really been that good at them. I look like I could be athletic, I seem athletic, but I’m absolute garbage. I’ve suffered my whole life from “deceiving athleticism” and it’s a lot to handle – you know how many times I’ve been a first round bust on the playground or pickup games at the gym? Too many. At least Ryan Leaf only had to do it once.
When I asked to write for The Brand, Joe asked me if I’d be able to tell people who hate my team to go eat a bag of dicks…so…if you’re not with the Bears, Blackhawks, Bulls or White Sox, go eat a bag of dicks.
You probably noticed that I didn’t list the Cubs. Yeah, I rep the 30% of Chicago who root for the Sox, but I’m not a Cubs hater, so expect to see some posts about the Cubbies from time to time. That party in 2016 was a damn good time and I’m more than happy to throw down beers with crazy Cubs fans in Wrigleyville or take work off to go to a parade again. It’s all good…because we’re gearing up for the White Sox to make their run in 2020 when Ricky’s Kids are ready to kick some ass. Bring on Eloy Jimenez and Michael Kopech baby!!!
All in all, I’m as Chicago as it gets — I’m all about deep dish pizza, Italian beef and you’re dumb if you put ketchup on a hot dog. Is there a better city to be at during the summer? Nah.
I’ve also been a Hawks fan since I was a kid — not one of these bandwagon fans that joined the party when they got good again 10 years ago. Proof? I was at Dustin Byfuglien’s first career game when he was with the team in 2007 and wore #52. Don’t know who Bobby Hull is? Stan Mikita (RIP)? Tony Esposito? Study up and then we can talk about Blackhawks hockey. Look, I’m not mad if you like the team, just don’t say you’re this diehard fan when I know you don’t know shit. You gotta earn it.
To tell all my fellow Chicagoans out there, The Brand finally has some 4-star flag news coming its way. As the legendary Hawk Harrelson would say “sit back, relax and strap it down.”
One last thing…In Trubisky We Trust. DAAAAA BEARS!!!