So I am sitting here at the airport waiting for our flight to Italy and I had a revelation. I thought the Seaside Boardwalk was the best place to people watch, but I was wrong.
It’s the airport. Any airport now that I come to think of it. In the normal society that we live in there are basic rules. Boundaries or guidelines if you will. Not all of us follow these rules, but it seems like no one does at the airport.
Passing through the security line doesn’t just put you into the airport, it teleports you into a place with its own set of rules, or lack there of. One might say a magical place where many things that are frowned on in society, are accepted.
In normal day to day life people usually want to give off the impression that they are “normal upstanding citizens.” Not here.
Attire :
Regular society: We like to look good if we are out in public. Woman usually take forever to get ready to be seen. Hair done, makeup done, nails done. Guys usually get a arm workout in and put on a nice shirt and cologne.
Airport society: PJ’s seem to the standard. There is no makeup, there’s no arm pump, it is purely take me as I am. Completely 0 fucks given. If you are at a destination airport (Orlando, Vegas, NYC) it seems to be required to wear local tourist gear such as mouse ears or I <3 NY shirts.
Etiquette:
Normal society: For the most part we walk normally, sit in chairs, sleep in beds. We look out for other people, try to talk softly on our phones and understand to walk on the same sides as we drive. (Sorry Europe)
Airport society: This is where is gets a bit anarchy-ish. Maybe it’s because people don’t give themselves enough time. Maybe it’s because families are trying to move in hoards but people seem to lose their minds. People are just sprinting.. left side, right side all freakin over. People are sitting on the floor.. Hell sleeping on the floor (gross.) On the phone? Yup, need to make sure the whole airport knows how my meeting was.
Eating:
Normal society: For the most part a lot to of us watch what we eat. We are calorie conscious. We also usually eat breakfast , lunch and dinner foods at the “appropriate times” with some snacks along the way.
Airport society: We lose our minds! It’s breakfast time.. “Can I get the burger with fries and start with the French onion soup” Why?! Also why do I crave junk food? I never eat it. I need chexmix, gotta get a snickers.. Gummy Bears? Absolutely. Is it that we are on vacation mode most of the time in the airport? Or is it true that in this society… “Airport calories” don’t count?
Drinking:
Normal society: Who doesn’t like to have a few drinks? Especially after a long work week or just because. Of course we do. Usually however there again is some “guidelines” on weekends usually you don’t drink until let’s say noon. During the week what it’s after 5? That sounds reasonable.
Airport society: This is the fun part. No rules. You have a 8am flight? See you at Chickies at 7 and I’ll have the coldest beer they have on tap. Have an hour for a layover around 10am? Perfect, big glass of red wine it is. Doesn’t matter the time, does not matter the destination. Airport =Alchport and there is no explanation needed for that.
I think I am enjoying this airport society. Maybe we should adapt some of these rules to our everyday lives. I mean drinking at anytime and wearing comfy clothes all the time. Add in those moving floors which equals less walking and that’s the world I want to live in.
Our country is split politically right now. But in 2020 if there’s a candidate that runs on “Make America an Airport Society Again” you got my vote.
-Kevin “That Guy”
On point…. no make up, no fucks