This is a sad week for one of our most beloved (fictional) sports hero’s. Goldberg, from the famed Mighty Ducks. quack, Quack, QUAck, QUACK, QUACK!! He was arrested on Meth charges. He’s 39 and looks like he’s 87. Don’t do drugs kids!
It makes me so sad. But also got me thinking.. What are my top 10 all time fictional sports teams? It’s really hard, there are so many to choose from and so many great ones that will be left out.
Honorable Mention: Team Iceland from Mighty Ducks II, Charlestown Chiefs, Cornfield Ghost Team and The Peaches. All deserving but Juuuust a bit outside! Here is my top 10.
10. The Little Giants.
I was obviously a fan of the Little Cowboys (no way they lose in real life.) But this team of misfits lead by the ultimate Tom Boy Becky (SPIKE DON’T PLAY WITH GIRLS) deserves to be on this list. Esp after successfully running the Annexation of Puerto Rico.
9. Bad News Bears.
Another underdog story of a young team that can’t win anything. They are lead by a former minor-leaguer who loves his booze named Morris Buttermaker. Just from his name alone they make the list.
8. Tune Squad.
This might be a bit low for this squad, but there are so many good teams. The Tunes are joined by MJ to take on the mean and nasty MONSTARS. They stand no chance right? HA!
7. Average Joe’s.
Again, tough rate and might be too low… Especially for a team with a pirate on it. Average Joes and their squad of “athletes” battle GLOBO GYM for dodgeball supremacy. “If you can dodge a wrench you can dodge a ball!”
6. West Canaan Coyotes.
Jonathan Moxon is only one man. Tweeter drinks beer because well.. Tweeder drinks beer. BillyBob has a pig he thinks is a dog. “PUKE AND RALLY!” Bud Kilmer is the ultimate villain head coach. Oh and.. The whipped cream bikini (not a player but had to add.)
5. Cleveland Indians.
No, not the real Indians. Wild Thing’s Indians. Another underdog story with a bunch of no name, washed up has-bins that were supposed to lose 100 games. Think again, because Willie Mays-Hays came to play!
4. Sandlot Team.
Really hard not having these boys in the top 3, but hell the completion is legit. Smalls stinks but is still the man. Every kid loves backyard baseball and dreams they are Babe Ruth… These boys are living and succeeding at all of our childhood dreams.
3. Miami Sharks.
This team didn’t just bring us some badass football but also the greatest coaches speech in sports (not just fictional) history! Steamin Willie Beamin, The best linebacker of all time, Shark (LT) a sick running back in Julian Washington (LL Cool J) an aging all time QB Cap (Dennis Quad) two all time coaches in Tony D’Amato (Al Pacino) and Montezuma Monroe. (Jim Brown) And, top it off with a hot owner Christina Pagniacci (Cameron Diaz)
2. Dillon Panthers.
I may be a bit bias here but it’s only because I believe Coach Eric Taylor is one of the best people of all time. Even with All-Time QB Jason Street going down they get it done and win state! QB1 Matt Saracen, Smash Williams and the one and only Tim Riggins? Yeah… That’s an all timer. “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, CAN’T LOSE!”
1. Mighty Ducks/Team USA.
I mean it can’t even be debated. They had TWO all-time great teams. They shouldn’t have beaten the Hawks but Gordon Bombay lead them to victory! Then they become TEAM USA 🇺🇸 “We’re Team USA and we’re goin all the way!” Goldberg, Charlie Conway and the squad join Russ Tyler and the kids to take on big bad Iceland! There is no debate. They are #1. QUACK to you if you don’t agree!
That’s my list. Don’t like it.. Come at me kmess22
-Kevin “That Guy”