Last night was Rough N’ Rowdy 4 and oh boy what a show it was! We had Pride VS Prejudice, Cop VS Bouncer (Skateboarder pussied out) Brother VS Brother, Raccoon Boys, a ring girl competition that I will never forget. Tities dumped out for the boys, Bill Burr with one liner after one liner Pat Mcafee doing what he was born to do! Lets get into it
The fights were great. The hardest part about Rough N’ Rowdy for Barstool, I assume is having really good, entertaining or funny fights, but they get it done every single time. Not a single pure boxer in the lot. Just 3 rounds, 1 minute each of constant swinging trying to knock someone out. Once they go a solid minute just throwing punches over and over again they are out of gas, have literally nothing in the tank and that’s where the comedy starts. Just out of shape Jimmy and Joes trying to find the energy and stamina for 60 seconds to throw a punch. There was plenty of that last night, some great knockouts, one in which I thought this firefighter had murdered some kid, just killed him. Another had a man in cargo pants and a suit belt, he folded his arms while being punched in the mouth to say, hey I quit. The fights last night were great 8.5 out of 10
THE FIGHT MOMENTS
So many great moments during the night. Possibly the best and my favorite of the night was Raccoon Boy, who was rolled to the ring in a garbage can. It was the most WWE moment maybe ever that not even WWE could have managed with their PG boring ass programming.
What a moment. Raccoon boy then struggled for 45 seconds to get out of the garbage can. It was a moment that will live on forever. I hope Raccoon boy comes back again soon. There was also a young boy trying to fight a young Jean Claude who was not fucking around.
He got fucked up. There was that knockout from the fireman and former Youngstown football player who maybe wanted for murder. One of the most vicious clean shots I have ever seen. He knocked this man out to the point where he just laid on his back for long enough that I could hear Prez’ ass hole tighten up worried about the kid. It was AWESOME. I don’t have video of that or a picture but I’m sure the folks at Barstool Sports will have a full recap as well with more videos and pictures. There was a kid who gave super upper-cuts. Just charged in and wildly threw upper cuts that missed by 3-5 feet. There were two women who fought that may of had the fight of the night. Non-stop action the entire time. Anna-conda vs Hannah Banana may have ended in some controversy according to the Hannah camp
Next was the Youngstown Cop who was fired for making a video with Barstool thanks to the Mayor. He was supposed to fight the skateboarder for the old tale of the Cop vs Skateboarder. Well the skateboarder being the pussy that he is did not show up, was nowhere to be found. A grade A fucking loser with no sense of self-worth or worth living. They found a replacement though. a 6’2 230lb bouncer, a massive man to fight the cop. I sat here and said, damn this cop is going to get fucked up. He’s done for, this bouncer is a giant. Well the cop got in there and in the first round mauled this bouncer to death. He destroyed him, the guy was out on his feet and had knots all over his face. It was a massacre. Just great to see. After it was over Rone presented the cop with a check for $30k. Hopefully he does some good with it. He is for sure a guy you want as a cop protecting you.
They called it a ring girl contest but it was no contest. Jess the hefty girl who fought at last Rough N’ Rowdy was a ring girl and she easily won. It was never even close.
What a woman. But there were moments in RNR4’s ring girl contest that were beyond special. There was a girl who walked into the ring and tits were out right away.
“Is that her tits? Did we get her tits there? Frankie can you hear me did we get a tit or not” -Dave Portnoy
You did Dave and I thank you for it. Later when they got all of the girls in the ring to pick the winner Bill Burr had one of the best two lines of the night.
“The girl on the left looks like Bret Michaels” -Bill Burr
And she did, she actually truly did. Later when Jess got in the ring Bill said “Her stomach looks like Santa’s sack when its full of toys” I can honestly say I laughed so hard that I pee’d myself and almost came moments later when the Jacked She-Hulk showed up.
Sue me, I like her. Jess won the ring girl contest fairly easily, because why wouldn’t she and the night continued.
Before I get into the main event, let me just say that Pat McAfee was born for the fight game. He was unreal. One of the best parts of the night was anytime Pat was on the mic. Bruce Buffer ain’t shit compared to Pat. The way he speaks how smooth it is how accurate it is, he just gets it, he knows what to do and Barstool is going to have to pay him more before HBO boxing scoops him up.
THE MAIN EVENT
Gay Pat vs Brae. The reason we were all here. Gay Pat showed up in an outfit that was better than anything I have ever seen. Brae got in between the rope and did what I think was a Hitler salute right away. It was, well…..something. Pat got in the ring and looked focused, angry and ready to go. Brae looked afraid, he was nervous, if he lost this fight he’d become gay Brae. This fight was not a pure boxing match, or even a clean fight. It was dirty and vicious and Pat might have thrown 12-22 elbows in Braes face, which is fair. The entire night was like a Rocky fight people going to their knees getting back up, it was amazing. Pat continued to beat down Brae for three rounds with no mercy. He beat him so bad Brae wanted to go back to prison, and when it was over only one mans hand would be raised.
Side note: Dave did say when the fight was over he wanted to thank Brae who played a character for Barstool and played it up a ton to help them out. So we don’t know if he is a homophobe or not whatever, but great job by Pat.
It was a great night, one of the best and I can’t wait for the next one in Kentucky. It gets better and better every time. Great job by Barstool and the Rough N’ Rowdy people who continue to do great work.
UPDATE: According to Gay Pat on barstool radio “Brae tried to kill two people and backstage kept coming up to me and calling me a fa**ot” So it wasn’t a character after all… My bad.
Let me wobble back to my corner, Joe Pa knew.