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I miss you, Paul Walker.

A documentary about Paul Walker is going to be released next month and I don’t know if I can handle it.  That was my DUDE.

I’m not crying, you’re crying.  What had happened was, I got dust.. in both my eyes.. at the same time.

Paul William Walker IV.  What a strong name.  He was the fucking man.  I’ve had a few man crushes in my life, but I’m just gonna come right out and say it:  Paul Walker is my #1 man crush of all time.  Let’s take a little trip down memory lane, shall we?

It all started in 2001.  I was pretty much your average 12 year old.  I shit with the door open, I talked about pussy, I went on riverboat gambling trips, and I made my own beef jerky.  Just kidding – I played lacrosse and I skateboarded.  I broke my thumb playing lacrosse, so I was just posted up on the couch with an ice pack and some snacks.

That’s when it happened.  My dad came home with a gift to make me feel better.  It was The Fast and The Furious on DVD.  I was soooo hype.  I remember how badly I wanted to see it in theaters, but I was too young.  Now I had it all to myself.

So there I was, my thumb the size of a cucumber, got a monster bowl of kettle corn in front of me (yeah, kettle corn is way better than average popcorn.  come see me), and Brian O’Conner & Dominic Toretto on the screen.  It was fucking awesome (minus the broken thumb part).  But, Paul Walker made the pain disappear.  He was like a magician that harnessed the power to cure any ailment.

I remember the moment I met Paul.  It was about 3 minutes info The Fast and The Furious, and he pulls up in his neon green ’95 Eclipse.  Looking back, that car was so fucking stupid.  But in the moment – yooooo, that car was soooo phat.  Then, he lets that thing absolutely rip.  My heart was beating out of my chest.  I actually think my thumb healed faster because of the increased blood flow I was getting from watching him.

 

Holy shit, I’m sweating.

Not only was Paul (Brian) amazing at getting me all jazzed up, he was often the voice of reason, as well.

I remember the race where Jesse threw down the pink slips for his Jetta and got absolutely smoked.  What happened right before that race?  Paul (Brian) was in his ear telling him not to do it!!  Did Jesse listen?  Nope.  Did Jesse win the race?  Nope.  Did Jesse get blased in a drive-by later in the movie because he never turned the car over after he lost?  Yup.  Should he have listened to Paul (Brian)?  Yup!

 

So, next time you’re at a bar, order yourself a Paul Walker Shot in memory of this great man.  It’s a Car Bomb immediately followed by a Fireball.

Too soon?

RIP Paul.

 

Featured Photo – Bob Marshak / Universal Studios via Darren Franich

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