Happy “Flex Friday” everyone! So I am a gym rat… Shoot me, I look forward to it everyday… Its like my therapy. Am I the biggest guy in the gym? (No that belongs to Jesse… Obvi)
Now that being said, I am still the strongest guy in the group. I do believe that the gym should be an equal opportunity place of fitness. I want everyone to be able to experience the joy I get from throwing some heavy shit around.
However, there are rules in this palace, and etiquette that must be followed. If you had no idea about gym etiquette (you probably are breaking the rules) and I’m here to help! Again, I want everyone to enjoy their gym time but if you break the rules; this isn’t Planet Fitness… You will be judged.
1. Put your damn weights away… Hey tough guy, yeah you.. I see you moving the leg press 4 inches with 9 plates on each side.. Good work. Now before you walk away leaving the weights on think… If I was strong enough to put them on I’m strong enough to take them off. Don’t be an asshole and make the next person do it. Consider it cardio.
2. Don’t curl in the squat rack. Wait what’s it called? Oh that’s right a SQUAT RACK and they come at a premium. Most people skip leg day but I wish it was everyday! Nothing more infuriating than getting to the gym to squat and there is someone curling 20lb dumbbells in the rack. Why.. WHY?!
3. Screaming/Singing/Rapping. Yes most of the time people have headphones in, but believe it or not sometimes we can hear you through them! Screaming as loud as you can every rep. Is it for attention? Is it a mating call? If your doing anything but benching 405, squating 425 or deadlifting 505… Shh just move the weight. Also.. The gym is not the shower or a concert hall. I don’t pay my monthly dues to be serenaded by you. I don’t need to hear AAAANDDD IIIIIIII WILL ALWAYSS LOVE YOUUUUU on the treadmill next to me! (I’m already listening to it thank you.)
4. Supersetting Every Machine: Listen I love supersets, do them everyday. But there’s a way to and a way not to do them. On one bench, cable machine or area doing two different exercises.. Awesome. Using seven machines at once.. Nah bro. “Yo bro I’m on that.. Yeah I’m using that too.. Yes that machine also.. Bro it’s a super duper superset circuit” No.
5. Gym Clothes: Dicks, Nike, Footlocker, Target, Hell even Walmart sells gym clothes. Wear them to the gym. Why are you wearing work boots that you wore all day to work? Why are you wearing a nice V neck tucked into jeans with dress shoes doing tricep pushdown? Come on! I can’t wear my Emmitt Smith Jersey to a Michelin Star Restaurant. My personal favorite.. The doctor who comes dressed in his scrubs.. Ok that’s either nasty for us because you just came from work or nasty for your patients because you are going to work from the gym.. Just no. Get some shorts, a tee (maybe even a cut off) and some sneakers.. Boom.
Bonus: Wipe it down. You know if you are drenched in sweat. You know if you’ve “left your mark.” What’s that old saying.. “Your mother isn’t here to clean up after you.” Clean up, your weights, your bench, your mess!
That’s my Hardo take for the day. If you just live by these five rules you will be golden. (Oh yeah stop with the Snapchat selfies too.) If you are confused by any, try the google or send a message to Mr. Olympia Jesse. And be on the look out for another edition of Do’s and Don’ts at the gym soon.
You can also watch the Buff Dudes who perfectly depict “The Gym”
-Hardo.. Kevin “That Guy”