Tom Brady: Greatest American Ever

I’m from Philly, so I know this is going to piss a lot of people off but I truly and deeply feel that Tom Brady is the greatest American to ever live. Counting George Washington, Abe Lincoln and all those dudes. I’ve never seen any of them throw a spiral under pressure have you? Every hates Brady because they ain’t Brady. Let me break it down for you.

What is the most American sport ever, football. Everyone knows that, it’s undeniable. Tommy Brady is HANDS down, the greatest football player the world has ever seen. Dude has 5 Super Bowl rings. Let me list off all the QBs with 5 or more rings:

  • Tom Brady

That’s it, just one man. Also he is going to play until he’s like 70. Kings don’t quit, they die on the field with some God damn honor. Also are we just going to forget that 25 point comeback in the Super Bowl??? I was at a bar in Boston during that game and it was incredible. I could go on and on about stats but you know them and they are overwhelming.

Besides football you know why else you should consider Tom the GAOAT? Smoke show wife. Everyone knows the American dream is fame, success and hot wife. Even K Mess will agree with that. And when it comes to hot wives, Tommy has the first overall pick.

Are you serious?!!?? Damn right he loves Gisele. Super model and Super Bowl rings….good lord. How do we even breath the same air as this Greek God? You wouldn’t trade lives with Tommy?

What else? Oh how about the fact that Brady is the most family man ever. Dude loves his family. Look at them!!!! They are as American as apple pie.

Best son of all time? Yeah, of course. Imagine being Tom’s dad. You just wake up everyday the proudest person in world. Other dads trying talking about their kids, “My son just got a new promotion!” “Oh my god that’s great! Tom just threw his 1 millionth touchdown and is still more handsome than you’re piece of shit kid.”

Tom Brady for president. If we elected Brady we’d got from $10 trillion in debt to owing the Earth. Complete world domination. I’m writing his name in during the next election and I suggest you do the same.

So I ask all my fellow Philadelphians and Americans i general. Stop hating a guy out of pure jealousy. You are witnessing greatness, take it in and receive the gift Tommy is giving you.

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