This has been on my mind for a long time now. I am tired of the narrative that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is a real life super hero. I am going to explain why Dwayne stinks! Now I could go on for about 25-30 pages. I have proof and reasons as far as the eye can see. However, I dont feel like typing out that much and I wont do it. I wont. Lets start with point one though.
1. The Rock and Dwayne are two different people
I want to make something very clear. The Rock is awesome. He was the most electrifying man in sports entertainment he always made you go crazy when he entered the ring. He was awesome. Dwayne however stinks. Dwayne makes the same movies (ill get into that) He makes them over and over and over again. They have no context they are boring and I spend the entire movie looking at my phone or watching porn because it has way more context. I’ll get in a foxhole with The Rock everyday of the week, Dwayne can kick rocks.
2. He was 1 and 2 against Stone Cold At Wrestlemania
Stone Cold Steve Austin was so much better in every single way compared to The Rock. And anyone who grew up watching 90’s WWF knows this. As far as im concerned The Rock was tired of being in Austins shadow, so he left to make movies and be a movie star because he wanted people to forget that he was 1 and 2 against Austin at Mania. This guy is gonna run for president? With a losign record to Austin at Mania? Cant be my President
3. He has made the same movie 329 times
Lets look at Dwaynes movies from the last couple of years
-Skyscraper: Dwaynes family is trapped in a building a disaster happens, he has to go save them completing impossible tasks to do so.
-Rampage: Dwaynes best friend (A gorilla) has expanded to impossible sized and is destroying an entire city, Dwayne has to save THE GIANT GORILLA!
-Baywatch: Dwaynes friends are in trouble, he has to save them… ITS FUCKING BAYWATCH!
-The Fast And The Furious movies: … This.
He has on a walking boot, he has a full arm cast. He is in the fucking hospital, BUT! Dwaynes friends are in trouble being hunted down by a black hawk helicopter, so he has to save them completing impossible tasks and then.
-Moana: Dwayne has to save all of Hawaii from dying.
-Hercules: Dwayne has to give an Army the skills to fight, the Army turns out bad and Dwayne basically by himself completing impossible tasks has to stop this entire fucking army.
-San Andrea: Dwayne during an earthquake “That they’ll feel on the east coast” has to save his family during impossible tasks
Im done, its the same for all of them, Snitch, save his son, Faster, save some broad or soemthing I think. They’re all the same and people keep going to see them, so he doesn’t even have to try!
4. I dont like his face
5. He HAD to tell us he eats pussy.
Oh Dwayne! You’re so funny! You eat pussy! How relatable just like me!!! Fuck off bro! You know what I do to a womans vagina? I dont just lick her gash, I lick her ass, I lick her thighs, do you know how many toes I’ve made curl, how many backs I’ve broke, I didnt do it with money and fancy cars, I did it with good old fashioned hard work, guts and determination, I’ve watched more game film then Ron Jaworski before the NFL draft, over 10 thousand hours of film Dwayne, 10 thousand! And you know what… I bet you dont eat ass. Loser.
6. He is the 4th best actor to come from WWF/WWE
- Dave Batista
- John Cena
- Stone Cold
- The Rock
Thats really just a fact, They are all better than him, and I dont care how many more time’s he trys to save his family from the devils anus, he is in 4th.
Ladies and Gentleman of the court. I rest my case. I am tired of Dwayne, I am done with Dwayne and his 129 movies that are all the same. Bring back The Rock or dont come back. I am done with you, i debunk you Dwayne! Good day sir, theres a peoples elbow to your damn career.
Let me wobble back to my corner, Joe Pa knew.