Cowboys Fan (me) Falls… Eagles Fan laughs!

Friday night I went out for a great Margarita Happy Hour with the wife and a friend. (Be on the lookout for @Branded_Sports Happy Hour reviews.) We finished a couple pitchers, had some apps… It was great.

For anyone that may have forgotten I am a diehard Cowboys fan and my wife… An Eagles fan. (EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT GUY) We are also both vertically challenged (with no ladder in our house.)

We came home from Happy Hour and I decided I needed to fix something in the attic right then.

(Thought process: Need help getting up there. Tall friend Andrew is over ✅ let’s do this.)

Well.. It ended pretty quickly with Andrew hoisting me up and then, well..

…That happened. (NO I didn’t step like an idiot. My elbow hit an area off the beam and BOOM it’s snowing insulation in our hallway.)

First thought: “I am Clark Griswold”

Second thought: “She’s gonna kill me. Well, life was fun but why do I have to die when the Eagles are SB Champs?!”

But then through my confusion, hanging basically upside down looking at my insulation covered hallway, I hear it:

“HAHAHAHAHA” from both of them. Not laughing with me… But clearly laughing AT me. My wife wasn’t mad, she wasn’t going to kill me, she was just going to laugh at me. “It’s because your a stupid Cowboys fan”

And there it is.

Eagles fans have thrown snowballs at Santa. Cheered Michael Irvin’s career end in Philly. Thrown full beers at Vikings fans. But… This? My little, beautiful, sweet wife… Laughing and making Cowboys suck jokes as I hang from our ceiling!

I guess it’s in her Kelly Green Blood. I guess it’s her responsibility to her father and to her city, but it still hurt. Eagles fans you are just mean! Mean, Mean, Mean (which rhymes with Green, which starts with G, which stands for Gross which Eagles fans are!)

We’re not mean, you’re just stupid” –my wife

This is where I make my stand. CALLING ALL COWBOYS FANS:

It’s us vs them, us vs the world! We are the underdogs now, we (I) have fallen from Grace (and thru my ceiling.) But, the Eagles and their fans, they are what they hate now, they are who they despise, they are the New York Yankees, they are the Dallas Cowboys, let’s knock them down and back into the trash where they belong!


-Kevin “That Guy”

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