Philly Phriendzone

(Last night)

Philly: “Hey you up?”

Machado: “New phone who dis?”

(This morning)

Philly: “Hey good morning!”

Pop: “New phone who dis?”

Being put in the friend zone once sucks, but twice in 12hrs… Uhh damn. Philly is in the midst of experiencing this as we speak. (You can say 3 in 3 weeks if you add LeBron.)

The last week or so has been all about courting the O’s for All-Star shortstop Manny Machado. The early front runners were my big bad Yankees. Then it seemed the Brewers were in, always looming were the Dodgers, but then there it was:

“Machado is basically a Phillie!” I had friends losing their minds convinced it was a done deal and Manny was coming to “The New City of Champions” to help guide this ahead of schedule team to the WS!

Even @TheNickRu was getting excited. But, then it happened, because… Of course it did. The Dodger rumors got hotter and hotter. Manny took a selfie with Matt Kemp and Phillies fans started to weep.

Say it ain’t so… But don’t worry Phillies fans it’s still not over. Manny will be a FA this offseason and you can go through this all over again.

If Philly Phans weren’t sad when they went to bed last night they would be with the gut punch they got this morning:

OH COME ON!!!!” Toronto really? REALLY POP?! Do you hate Kawhi and Philly that much that you are sending him to CANADA? (What’s that all aboot?!)

All off-season there were dreams of LBJ & Kawhi coming to Philly. Ok, even just one would be money. We all know LBJ chose LA (where his mural has already been taken down from vandalism.) But Kawhi could still be on the way…

…Until that Philly Phriendzone hit again. Pop pulled a Pop and shipped his ass out of the country, and there goes that.

But, just like Machado, don’t worry Philly Kawhi is also a FA at the end of the year and you can do this all over again. (Until he goes to LA.)

Don’t be sad you still have Nicky Franchise and your Super Bowl Champion Eagles. Just do what you always do when you are at other Philly sporting events and losing…


-Kevin “That Guy”


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July 18, 2018 4:18 pm

Damn your wife is hot!