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Chh-ch-Ch-cH …ah-ah-ah-ah

Hello again ladies and gents, and Happy Friday the 13th! Today is about as close as I can get to Halloween until the day actually comes! As I said in my Blu-ray Tuesday post (which you definitely should check out if you haven’t), I love the horror genre and normally I’d spend today watching as much of the Friday the 13th Franchise as I could. However I want to talk about a more than likely unpopular opinion that I have – The 2009 remake is the best installment in the franchise.

Usually I’m a “don’t fuck with the original” kind of guy, but this was a pleasant surprise and let’s be honest, none of them were exactly Oscar worthy to begin with. Check out my reasoning and let me know what you think!

First off, boobs. While pretty much every installment has boobs and or a sex scene, all pale in comparison to Julianna Guill’s (pictured below)  in this movie. They’re not fake, they’re immaculate; or as “Trent” puts it, “Stupendous” and “So juicy, dude.”  Seriously they’re some of the best breasts I’ve ever seen in a movie. Add in that the sex scene itself is hilariously entertaining, and this is one of the more memorable moments from this movie.

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Another very memorable moment from this film is the opening act, leading up to the title reveal. The lighting and cinematography, the music, the sets, the acting, and the simplicity yet fucked up-ness of the injuries and deaths are fantastic and make it scary as hell. It’s easy to feel and relate to the fear and panic that the characters are feeling. Once the title appears, you actually breathe a sigh of relief. This is the best opening act of the franchise other than possibly Jason Goes to Hell (which the rest of that movie actually does after the great opening act).

As I just mentioned, the simplicity in this movie is a big benefit. I’m a fan of KISS – Keep it simple stupid. I love movies like “The Strangers”, for this concept.  In this Friday the 13th, there aren’t any crazy curses, magical daggers, or undead zombies brought back from the dead by a bolt of lightning. This movie boils down to just being a well formulated, slasher flick. While at times it’s the same thing we’ve seen many other times from this franchise and others, the removal of the over the top supernatural bullshit really helps to make it feel more grounded in reality. Which, I feel makes it all the more terrifying.

Like I said, removing the supernatural aspects was a good choice for this movie and it was done in a great way. For starters, Jason isn’t a lumbering oaf of a zombie that somehow catches everyone by (sometimes briskly) walking. He can run, and quickly. We also get to see how he “magically appears” in random places across the camp, via trapdoors and underground tunnels he seemingly built that run throughout the camp. It becomes fairly obvious that he has spent years living off of the land, and honing his “hunting” skills. There are deaths via his machete (obviously), archery (headshot), and axe throwing…come to think of it he would have been a great asset to the Olympic team or the Lumberjack World Championships (yes, that’s actually a thing) if he wasn’t such a stab-happy asshole. All of these aspects that show Jason as a smart, skilled and even athletic murderer make him one of the most horrifying incarnations of Jason Voorhees.

Last but certainly not least, my boy Jared Padalecki from Supernatural. He plays his role as the main protagonist fantastically and I mean, just look at that all that handsome (yeah I have a man crush…whatever).

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So there you have it folks, some key points as to why I feel the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th, is the scariest and overall the best film released in the franchise. While I do enjoy the others, this one is almost always my first choice to watch and hopefully (probably not) I convinced you to share my opinion, or at least give it a bit more credit. I hope you all have a great Friday the 13th and get to binge whichever Jason films are your favorites!

-Matt H.

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