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Nothing against Joaquin Phoenix but..

How I imagine a WB Executive meeting goes…

Dip Ass: Ok Guys, our DC universe is a bunch of shit snacks compared to Marvel. We’ve been bombing nonstop other than Wonder Woman, and MOS was adequate at best.

Dumb Fuck: Yeah, even the stars are dropping out. Affleck doesn’t even want to do the solo Batman film anymore.

Dip Ass: Well, he’s still gonna act in it right? He just doesn’t want to direct it…

Dumb Fuck: I don’t even know honestly, but I’m pretty sure he wants nothing to do with us anymore. How can we fix all of this?

Dip Ass: Well, we could just recast the part? People won’t care, especially for some characters like Leto’s Joker. No one seemed to like that.

Sensible Person: I mean I think everything just needs better writing…not necessarily better actors. And we need to have an overall vision and not just rush into each movie for a cash grab.

Dumb Fuck: Plus I already said we should do a Joker movie with Leto so that’s happening…

Sensible Person: Sir literally no one asked for or wants that…They want quality movies for the heroes they love and they want the heroes to actually think and behave as such.

Dip Ass: So what you’re saying is just do a completely different Joker film with someone else cast? I got it! Joaquin Phoenix would be perfect!

Sensible Person: I don’t think you understand what I’m saying…

Dip Ass: What are you talking about! This is an excellent idea! We’re doing it!

Dumb Fuck: What?! Fuck you man I already said we’re making the Leto movie! And Leto is going to be in Suicide Squad 2, and possibly in Batman.

Dip Ass: Fuck it! Let’s do both! These fans will pay for it all anyway!

Sensible Person: Don’t you think this is gonna confuse people and possibly piss them off?

Dip Ass and Dumb Fuck: WHO CARES!

 

And that my friends is how a DC movie is created….probably.

 

-Matt H.

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