LeBron’s Agent Texts Like a Teenage Girl

ESPN “Johnson said his conversation with James, which began at 9:01 p.m. PT, when free agency began, was mostly two guys talking about basketball. Lakers general manager Rob Pelinka said he received a text from James’ agent, Rich Paul, around 4:30 p.m. the next day. “The text just said ‘Congrats,’ and it had balloons,” Pelinka said. “It was one of those moments in life you’ll never ever forget. Everything went in slow motion.”

Laker LeBron already sucks more than Cleveland LeBron, no small feat. Dude has his agent sending a “Congrats” text to the general manager of the LAKERS. The biggest free agency signing since the last time LeBron signed a deal and to make this monumental moment official Rich Paul fires off an old “Atta boy.”

And what’s worse Rob Pelinka ate that shit right up. I bet Pelinka thought it was specially made just for LeBron. Wait until he finds out what a Geofilter is, dude is going to lose it. Yo Robby, text your aunt Susie, I promise you the same thing happens.


This is peak LeBron though, can’t blame Rob for the message. I’m sure James called him and told him exactly how to deliver the news. “Let’s keep this simple, strong and to the point. Let’s make his fucking day!” Probably.

Can only imagine what LeBron had Rob send over to Dan Gilbert. If I had to guess it  simply read, “HAGS” Classic LBJ.

Ps. Warriors go 82-0 and LeBron murders Lonzo on the court before the All-Star break

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